Paperwork
by Twilightholic-Tanya
Summary: After Bella loses her memory in an accident, Edward must recount a journey with her that he has forgotten as well. Along the way they find the reasons they fell in love. Drabble fic AH
1. Memory

**Paperwork**

**Summary:** After Bella loses her memory in an accident, Edward must recount a journey with her that he has forgotten as well. Along the way they find the reasons they fell in love.

**Note**: So this is a drabble fic. The chapters are short, but expect an update every day, sometimes twice. Most of this story is written already. This story deals with dramatic issues, but is by no means angst filled. I wanted to keep it as light as possible. Hope you enjoy.

Disclaimer: I have not seen or read the vow. Any similarities are completely coincidental. Only after I had come up with the idea did I realize the plot line would sound similar. However I hope they are completely different.

"_She's endless to me. She's just like paperwork, but harder to read."  
-Ed Sheeran_

Chapter One: Memory

**June 6, 2012**

The smooth skin against my hand was bothering me. I tried to move my hand away, but they obviously misinterpreted the action. They squeezed my hand and I could hear a sigh of relief. I groaned.

Was it my mother? Why was she watching me sleep? Better yet, why was she in my apartment. I would have to change my locks. Again.

I turned away and felt the scratchy cotton of the sheet underneath my cheek. This was not my bed. A low beeping finally began to make its way into my head. As the unfamiliar surroundings came into my mind, the beeping grew faster, taking me out of my lazy fantasies of the home depot and new locks.

"Ssh, ssh, Bella sweetheart, it's okay. It's okay, ssh," the soft unfamiliar voice tried to soothe me. That was definitely not my mother. The beeping grew faster yet, matching the pace of my racing heart.

"Why can't I open my eyes?" I groaned, feeling the weight of my lids. The voice laughed. I liked the sound, a lot.

"You can," he said.

"If I could, I would," I mumbled, debating going back to sleep. He chuckled again and I smiled as the beeping steadied and I felt myself succumb to the slumber that was still wrapping its soothing tendrils around me.

"Open your eyes, Bella," the voice said. I tried and felt them close again. No. I could do this. I could do this.

Slowly I opened my eyelids. It took a while because suddenly it felt like each of my eye lashes weighed a pound. But when I finally did I was gifted with a far better prize than the back of my eyelids.

The voice, the wonderfully soothing voice, belonged to an equally tempting face.

"There you go," he whispered and smiled brightly. The beeping began to spurt out of control. He looked above me and chuckled.

"Is that my heart?" I asked, noticing how it was a bit too much of a coincidence that the beeping seemed to match the pace of my heart.

"Yes," he answered.

"Shoot. That's embarrassing," I said, my filter completely gone.

He laughed again and glanced at me. His eyes suddenly sad.

"Who are you?" I asked. His eyes widened suddenly and he pulled his hand away from mine. Huh, now I missed it.

"What-what did you say?" he stuttered. My heart began to pound in accordance to his panic. Why was he freaking out? And now that I was on that topic, why was I in the hospital.

"Where am I? What happened?" I groaned, trying to sit up. He lightly placed a hand on my shoulder.

"No, no, rest. You shouldn't be getting up. Do you know who I am?" he asked, running a hand through his mane of gorgeous bronze hair. I really liked his hair. I had a sudden desire to touch it.

"No, but you're really pretty," I answered. Damn, that was not me. It had to be the meds. They were giving me meds right? From the looks of it, I had to be in a hospital room.

He smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes.

"I'm going to fetch the doctor."

And with that he left.

-.-

"Do you remember what happened?" Dr. Cullen (as he had introduced) asked. I shook my head.

"Hmm, do you know your name," the doctor asked, scanning a flash light through my pupils. I followed the light as directed and answered his question.

"Isabella Marie Swan, but I prefer Bella."

"Good, good. Can you tell me your birth date and age?" he asked, switching to the other eye. I sighed.

"September 19, 1985. I'm 20," I answered. The good looking doctor looked over at the good looking man in my room. He was a very handsome doctor. His hair was a golden blonde. The color you only ever saw in Disney movies and his eyes were pretty and blue and sparkled when the light hit them. He smiled and I realized he looked a lot like the…

I looked over to the man.

"Are you related?" I asked, the handsome young man in my room. He smiled.

"Dr. Cullen is my father," he answered.

"Oh."

"Bella, can you tell me the month and year?" Dr. Cullen asked, placing his little light in the pocket of his jacket.

"Uh… 2005," I tried to remember the month, but I couldn't. I was blank. I looked at him with fearful eyes. Why couldn't I remember the month?

"It's June 6, Bella," he said soothingly. I nodded. Yes okay, okay, that made sense. I guess. Geez, I had no clue. He could have told me it was December and I would have gone along with it.

"Bella, I'm going to tell you some news that may sound rather alarming, but I assure you that there is no need to panic. Do you understand?" he asked. I nodded.

"Bella you were in a car accident yesterday morning. You had a concussion, along with some bruised ribs and a sprained wrist. You were unconscious when you arrived, but other than the concussion you were virtually unscathed for how bad the damage had been. However, it seems you have acquired some slight memory loss, which is not uncommon for your type of wounds. The brain likes to heal itself and when placed in a sudden trauma will, take things in its own hands, sort of speak," Dr. Cullen explained. I didn't understand.

"Wait…memory loss? What do you mean?" I asked. My memory was fine, other than the fact that I had forgotten the month.

"Bella it's 2012," the man spoke next to me. I turned to face him. Surely he was joking.

"What?" I almost screeched. That was… that was 7 years. 7 years of my life were missing from my mind. There was nothing to fill the gap. Nothing. That can't be possible. I felt tears prickle my eyes.

"Bella, we need you to calm down. The memory lost is by no means permanent. You may regain your memory at any moment. It could be all at once or snippets," Dr. Cullen tried to explain.

"What if I don't get it back? Can that happen?" I asked, already feeling the tears slide down my cheeks.

Dr. Cullen shared a glance with his son, his face strained.

"Uh, that is possible, however, it's extremely uncommon for nothing to return," he said, struggling with his words. I held back a sob and it came out as a gasp.

The man came up to try and soothe me but I jerked away from him.

"Who are you?" I asked, the question sounding rude and frightened. He backed away.

"I'm Edward Cullen," he said. That name. I knew that name.

"How do you know me?"

He glanced toward Dr. Cullen. My eyes flew to him as well. He nodded slightly and I glanced back at Edward.

"I'm your husband."

_**So what do you think? Does it have potential? **_

_**I love to hear your thoughts. **_


	2. Meds

**Paperwork**

**Summary:** After Bella loses her memory in an accident, Edward must recount a journey with her that he has forgotten as well. Along the way they find the reasons they fell in love

Chapter 2: Meds

**June 6, 2012**

"Oh my god! I'm married. I'm married and I don't know my husband. How do I forget my husband!" I sobbed and buried my face in my hands, embarrassed that I was here crying like a baby while these unnaturally handsome people surrounded me.

My husband, whose name was Edward, I guess, came over and rubbed my back, trying to calm me down. Surprisingly his touch felt natural and did soothe me, but it bothered me that he had this affect on me. I didn't even know him.

"Please, stop touching me," I gasped, trying to spur the words out and stop the crying at the same time. Edward backed away and I felt guilty.

"Am I gonna get dementia? Is this why I can't remember anything?" I sobbed. I honestly realized this was a stupid question. What was I? Blonde?

But my meds, as I was blaming all my stupidity on, seemed to make me loopy.

The doctor laughed. He laughed. He actually laughed at me. Wasn't that against the rules? Where was Bailey kicking him off my case?

"She has a fear of memory loss. Ever since—" Edward who had been explaining my bizarre reaction suddenly stopped.

"Bella, Bella, look at me," Edward said, pulling my hands away and forcing me to stare into his beautifully mixed colored eyes. He smiled at me and all I could think was damn, I did well for myself.

"Bella, why are you afraid of Alzheimer's? Why?" he asked. Why was he asking me this? Was he on meds too?

"Because…because of that episode of Grey's," I said, wiping my cheeks and feeling like an idiot. Great now the two cute men knew of my guilty pleasure with the doctor show.

"Which episode?"

"The one where the chief's wife finds out she has it and they couldn't put her on the trial, why does this matter?!"

"Bella that episode came out in 2011. 2011," he said, trying to get me to grasp what he was saying. What does that…?

Oh. Oh. I remembered. I remembered Grey's Anatomy. I laughed. I giggled. I was so happy.

"See, that's wonderful news. The best advice I can give you is to just go on living life. Look through pictures, watch TV shows, and watch old videos. The memory will come on its own. If you don't progress in 3 months, then we'll look into it, okay?" Dr. Cullen asked. I nodded. Okay.

"Alright. I'm going to go check your chart and see if we can get you discharged," he said and walked out the door, leaving me alone with my husband. Christ that felt weird.

"Did you watch that episode with me," I asked, staring at my hands.

"I did. You were crying. Most episodes make you cry," he said and I was surprised he knew that about me. I only ever watched Grey's by myself because I cried.

"Yeah. They do."

It was awkward. This silence between us.

There seemed like so much I should be asking. I should want to know, but I just I didn't know where to start.

"When did we get married?" I finally asked, breaking the silence that formed around us.

"2008."

Holy sugar honey ice tea. Was he serious? That was three years from now; well I mean it would be three years from now, had the year been 2005.

"When did we meet?" I asked.

"2006," he said with a smirk. My eyes widened.

"That's… I missed you by a year," I said. Had I remembered one more year from now I would have remembered him.

"Sort of," he answered, smiling again and damn if it didn't do things to me.

"I don't love you," I admitted because I was a blunt person and obviously didn't have any tact. Why did I say that? Hurt flashed in his eyes and he cleared his throat.

"Yet," I added and smiled. I could see myself falling for him and his easy smile and his bright eyes that looked blue from away but were really a watery green that reminded me of nature. I could see myself being comfortable enough to cry in front of him and have him hold me.

He smiled as well.

"Do you love me?" I asked, because even though he was my husband, he was acting strange and something was off.

He stared at me for a long time and his watery blue green eyes shone in something I could not indentify. What would I give to be inside his head about now?

"I do. I don't know if it's possible for me to stop," he said and something that looked like pain struggled on his features. It was like he was admitting something to me.

"You know, I'm not the Bella you actually want to tell that, too," I said after a pause. He looked startled.

"What?"

"I just—I mean I can kinda tell you want your Bella back; you want to tell her that. Maybe you wished you could have before you know…" I said with a shrug. This was gonna be hard. I could tell already. I was thinking as me in two different forms. Isabella for the Bella I didn't know and Bella just for me.

Isabella was married and could cry in front of people and lived in 2012 and I was 20 and ate cereal from candy dishes when I was too lazy to clean the dishes in the sink. The last boyfriend I had stole money out of my purse to buy weed and was constantly smoking up until he took from my rent money without telling me and I was pissed and broke up with him.

Isabella was in a marriage with the gorgeous man who came from gorgeous doctors or a doctor as I had only met one parent. She probably lived in a house with a cat and did her dishes every night and probably ate a protein bar instead of cocoa puffs.

Which was ridiculous because I would never trade my knock off brand of cocoa poofs for a special K. I liked my chocolate.

But I mean, it felt that way.

"You know, it's kind of refreshing to meet the twenty-year-old you again. I kinda missed this. This was the person I fell in love with," he said with a smile. I smiled in return. I felt like goo. Maybe the meds melted my insides.

_**So I gave Bella my obsession with Grey's Anatomy. The story will continue to make references to the show, if you're not familiar with it, don't worry. **_

_**Anyway what would you do if you were woken up and suddenly missed out on seven years of your life? Bella seems to handle it pretty well. **_

_**Thoughts? **_

_**-Tanya**_


	3. Remember

**Paperwork**

**Summary:** After Bella loses her memory in an accident, Edward must recount a journey with her that he has forgotten as well. Along the way they find the reasons they fell in love

Chapter 3: Remember

**June 7, 2012**

"Whoa, this is our house?" I ask in awe as I walked through the doors. It led to a wide foyer, with large windows that let in the sunshine.

Two arches led off to two different rooms and the stairs for the second floor were right in front. It looked so elegant. Way nicer than the one bedroom apartment I use to own. Edward placed my bag down near the door. I turned and smiled at him.

This was weird for me. Don't get me wrong. I didn't know this home, or this man, or this life, but I felt comfortable. I felt comfortable with him and I was just thrilled that seven years later, I wasn't living out of a box. I had a husband and a gorgeous home. I had a life. I just wanted to remember it.

He smiled back, but there was this reserve around him, this sadness held in his eyes that stirred a feeling of discomfort in my belly.

Maybe I couldn't remember anything because Isabella didn't want to remember it. I turned to an archway that held the living room.

There was a white couch that looked so deliciously comfortable I found myself trailing toward it anyway. I plopped myself down and sunk into the soft cushion immediately.

I may have audibly groaned. God this felt good.

Edward laughed as he followed behind me and leaned against the entrance of the living room.

I snuggled into the sheet and brought my feet up and under me.

"I love this couch. I'm gonna marry it," I said. He laughed and came to sit next to me.

"That's what you said when you bought it, believe it or not," he said, patting my feet. I giggled. Dr. Cullen had said I would be a little loopy and tired when he released me this morning. I had to stay another night for observation.

"Um, I don't know if I should tell you, but uh, you kinda hate putting feet on the couch, says it messes it up," he said and I rolled my eyes.

"That's stupid. What's a couch for if not for putting your feet up. Isabella is stupid," I mumbled. He laughed again and it swirled around in my brain bringing a foggy memory to the forefront. A memory that was not completely lost, like the rest of my life, just a memory I had buried within others.

"I know you," I said, sitting up and turning to face him. His eyebrows lifted.

"Yes," he said, drawing out the word as to say… _duh_.

"No, no, no. I went to high school with you," I said and he smiled. It was a real smile, not the pity smiles he's been giving me.

"I was wondering if you would remember that."

"You're freaking Edward Cullen. You were like high school royalty," I said. I married Edward Cullen.

"Damn, ten years and you still look as gorgeous as you did then," I said, admiring his strong jaw and straight nose. He smiled and I admired that too.

"Thank you," he commented. I leaned against the pillows.

"I had the biggest crush on you. I can't believe I married you," I said, staring in awe.

He chuckled.

"How did we meet?" I asked.

"You spilled coffee on me," he answered quickly. I blushed. I didn't. Oh gosh, I'm an idiot.

"Yes. It was ice coffee. You turned bright red and tried to wipe it away with your hands and you were so flustered and suddenly you looked up and—"

"'Don't I know you?' and you said 'we went to high school together.'" I said, remembering that moment as though I had seen it on TV. They were really fuzzy and I felt as though I was trying to remember a dream.

"Yeah. Exactly like that."

"I remembered that. I don't know how, but I remembered that."

"Anything else?" he asked. I shook my head. No. I had no idea how that memory had snuck its way out, but it did. I felt better. I felt like I knew myself better. That hopefully my memories would come back soon.

The only problem was the relief of Edward's face when I said I didn't remember anything else.

Between him and the uncomfortable feeling in my gut, I had a feeling that the return of my memories would not mean good things.

_**Oh boy, what could that mean? Any guesses?  
Expect another update today. In EPOV. **_

_**Thanks for reading.  
-Tanya**_


	4. Coffee

**Paperwork**

**Summary:** After Bella loses her memory in an accident, Edward must recount a journey with her that he has forgotten as well. Along the way they find the reasons they fell in love

Chapter 4: Coffee

**September 7, 2006**

We went to high school together.

Those were the first words I said to her, when we bumped into each other. She was ordering something ahead of me. I was tired. I was cranky. I was late. Everything annoyed me. She annoyed me. She couldn't decide what she wanted and I was getting angrier and angrier.

My professor would have my ass. I debated skipping coffee. Then her order was placed in front of her and she turned to go. She ran right into me. Her (thankfully) ice coffee spilling all over my white shirt.

"Fuck!" I hissed. She blushed. Apologizes sputtered from her lips in such a frenzy, I couldn't understand her. She grabbed a napkin and dabbed at my wet shirt. It was too late for that. It wouldn't help. I grabbed her wrist to stop her.

She looked up and she froze. Her hand stopped moving, her blush faded and she stared at me. I stared back, because for a moment I remembered those brown eyes. I hadn't seen them in well over a year. But I remembered.

"Don't I know you," she said, tilting her head. I laughed because this was such an odd moment to reunite.

"We went to high school together," I reminded her and her eyes brightened.

"Edward Cullen," she said, as though my name explained everything. I nodded once.

That was all it took.

_**So obviously Bella has a past. She can't tell it to us cause she doesn't remember. That's where Edward comes in. He'll come throughout the story to tell what exactly went on before Bella lost her memory.  
If you have any questions, I'll be happy to answer. Just let me know.  
Don't forget to share your thoughts. **_

_**-T**_


	5. Alice

**Paperwork**

**Summary:** After Bella loses her memory in an accident, Edward must recount a journey with her that he has forgotten as well. Along the way they find the reasons they fell in love

Chapter 5:Alice

**June 7, 2012**

Edward was sleeping in the guest room. I didn't ask him too. He just said he was going to and then off he went.

I wished he would have let me sleep in the guest room.

The bed was weird. It smelled like him, but it also smelled a little bit like me. It smelled like strawberries and a brand of perfume that was not my usual seven dollar body spray from Wal-mart.

I went into the bathroom and looked over the accessories. There was a French perfume bottle on the sink. It smelled like my pillow. It was nice, just different. There was lipstick, a cover up, and mascara. Nothing else. I guess even now I didn't wear much make up. Which was nice. Edward's side of the sink had cologne, a razor, and shaving cream.

The bathroom seemed so cozy, so shared. It was so weird. Alice would freak over my lack of make-up. Suddenly my eyes got wide. Alice!

A horrible sinking feeling made itself known in the pit of my stomach. Something wasn't right.

I rushed out the bathroom and into the hallway. Gah! Which freaking door was the guest room?!

"Edward!" I screamed. The door near the end of the hall was thrown open and he came out quickly. He was in a pair of sleeping pants and nothing else. However, I couldn't admire his sculpted chest just yet.

"What? What's wrong?" he asked, looking around him as though he expected a an intruder to round the corner.

"Alice, where's Alice?" I asked.

"What?"

"Mary Alice Brandon! She's about 4 feet 9 and she's fully hyper and has black hair and hazel eyes. She doesn't weigh more than 110 pounds. Where is she?" I asked. I don't know why this seemed so crucial, it just did.

Alice was my very best friend. She lived—or used to anyway—in the apartment next to mine. We became friends almost immediately and I just… I needed to know she was doing okay, too.

Dr. Cullen told me that he had alerted the family that I was recovering, but that visitation rights should be limited due to my mental dilemma or whatever. Had he banished Alice from visiting too?

"Bella, you haven't spoken to Alice in two years," he said and that was it. That broke the dam I had been holding back.

"What?" I asked, feeling the quiver in my voice. He took a step toward me and I felt my knees shake. How could I not be friends with her anymore? I loved her.

She was my unofficial sister. We had planed our whole lives together. We were going to be like Meredith and Christina. We _were _like Meredith and Christina.

I wanted to ask what happened. I wanted to ask why we didn't talk, but somehow I couldn't. Something deep in my gut told me, that I really didn't want to know the answer. I felt my legs shake and suddenly I was on the ground and I couldn't stop shaking.

Edward came to my side immediately, holding my shoulders and bringing my body to his.

Why was I shaking?

"Ssh, Bella. Ssh," Edward said in the same soothing voice from the hospital.

It was then that I realized why I was shaking. I was shaking because I was crying. Sobbing.

Heavy sobs that shook my chest and my cheeks were filled with tears and I couldn't stop.

Everything was different now. I was a different person and I had no idea how to adjust. I had no idea how to remember. I had no idea and I felt lost. I felt confused.

I held onto Edward because he was the only person here and the only new thing in my life I had grown comfortable with. I could see how I fell in love with him. It was so incredibly easy to fall for someone like Edward. To swim in a lake of infatuation until you realized suddenly the lake was something more serious. Like an ocean. An ocean of heavy set love.

When my eyes grew heavy he lifted me from the ground and carried me into the bedroom. He laid me down on the bed and began to walk away but I held onto his forearm. I couldn't do this alone.

"Don't go, please," I begged. He nodded and came around the other side of the bed and crawled in the other side. I turned around so I was facing him. He smiled.

"Where is she now?" I asked, because I had to know. I had to know she was happy.

"She lives close by actually. Married and she has a daughter. I think she has another on the way. I'm not sure, it's been a while," he said with a sad smile. I felt my eyes water again.

"This is really hard for me. I'm trying, but I'm scared and I don't know you. I don't know anything anymore. I don't even know what I do for a living," I said, feeling the soft tears slip down my cheek.

His hand came and wiped them away. His thumb felt course, but comforting.

"You work at the library downtown. You love your job. You're in charge of the young adult section, which keeps you busy. You're constantly reading," he said. I smiled. I liked that. That sounded like something I would like to do.

"What's going to happen with my job?" I asked.

"Lucky for you, the library is under construction for the summer, so you have 3 whole months to try and settle. Okay?" he asked. I nodded.

"What do you do for a living?" I asked.

"I'm a music composer," he answered.

"You like write songs?" I asked. He nodded. "That's cool. For who?"

"I write music for the college bands around here mostly. I've written music for a few TV shows," he answered.

"That's such an odd job. And you're successful at it?" I questioned.

"Yes. I'm very good. I work from home a lot, except for the times I need to meet with the other writers or record something in the studio," he said.

"So you're the name in the credits of movies that no one really reads?" I said with a laugh. He chuckled.

"I guess you could say that," he told me with a smile.

"You're really pretty," I whispered.

"As are you," he said, lifting a strand of hair and tucking it behind my ear.

"What if I don't come back? What if I never fully remember," I asked.

"Then we'll figure it out. Together," he said and I smiled.

"I like you more and more." I yawned and closed my eyes.

Before I knew it, I was sleeping.

_**So Bella's a little emotional, but in her defense she's gone through a lot. Plus she's still on medication. **_

_**In case you are not familiar with Grey Anatomy, it's a medical drama. It revolves around the life of Meredith Grey and her coworkers as she begins her internship at Seattle Grace Hospital. It's completely fictional and overdramatic and nothing like a real hospital but I love it anyway. Meredith and Christina are two female characters who have a very close and strong friendship.**_

_**Anyway, thoughts? What happened with Alice? More to come. **_

_**Share your thoughts**_

_**-T **_


	6. B-tches

**Paperwork**

**Summary:** After Bella loses her memory in an accident, Edward must recount a journey with her that he has forgotten as well. Along the way they find the reasons they fell in love

Chapter 6: B*tches

**June 14 2012**

"Are you sure I should go?" I asked, sitting in the car and staring at the house. It had a picket fence around it. A _white_ picket fence around it. Were we in the fifties? Really?

"Dad said it would be good for you. Maybe trigger some memories," he said with a shrug. I looked down at the book in my hands. It had been a week since I had been released and my memories hadn't really been running to get back in my head.

It had been a weird week, trying to adjust. This would be my first time outside the house. I hadn't really spoke to anyway besides my parents and I was nervous about meeting these people.

"I don't even remember reading this book," I said.

"I don't think you discuss the book much anyway," he said with a chuckle.

"Ew, don't tell me I'm in a fake book club. Are you serious? Seriously?" I asked. He laughed. He was laughing at me an awful lot. I glared at him.

"It'll be fine. These are your friends, okay. Then tonight dinner with the family. You have your phone, okay, just call me when you're ready to go, or ask Angela for a ride home if you prefer. Whichever," he said.

He had handed me back my phone this morning. I couldn't work a smart phone. I was still getting used to my Motorola razor, which was the shit at the time, but apparently is shit now. I hated technology. I stared at the mini brick in my hands. I could call him though. I practiced that.

"Okay, I guess."

"You'll do fine. I promise," he said, leaning in and then pulling back suddenly. I realized he was going to kiss me goodbye. I smiled. That was sweet, but I think he was right to pull away. We hadn't exactly crossed any intimate barrels yet.

Instead I leaned in and placed a kiss on his cheek.

"Bye," I said, stepping out and closing the door. He nodded and drove away. I watched until he turned the corner at the end of the block and was out of my sight. Then I turned toward the house and tried to prepare myself for that.

With a huge breath I walked toward the house and tentatively knocked on the door.

It was opened almost immediately.

"Bella!" a high pitched voice screeched and I did my best not to flinch. Suddenly I was pulled into a tight hug and felt my breath almost disappear. Any air that I did manage to suck into my lungs was polluted with a heavy drench of perfume.

Sweet baby Jesus, did this woman bathe herself in Channel? I haven't smelled this much of a perfume overload since I was in high school. After what seemed like a million years, but was probably a few seconds, she released me.

I smiled in greeting. I had no idea who this lady was.

She had a fake tan, what looked like fake boobs, and big ol' fake smile plastered on her probably Botoxed face. Why would she need Botox? We were 27 for Christ sake.

"Gosh, you are a mess, honey," she said and ended it with a giggle. Well that wasn't very nice. I was friends with her?

I touched the stitched up wound on my forehead. I had a bruise on my cheek as well, but I mean damn you don't go around calling people ugly after an accident. I didn't like Big Boobies, as I was now inclined to call her.

My body may be 27-years-old, but I had the mentality of a 20-year-old.

"Well, you know, car accidents, concussions, and memory loss, oh my," I mumbled. She laughed. It was fake. These were my friends? I missed Alice more and more. I had looked her up on this thing called Facebook. Apparently it was all the rage now.

She did have a kid and another on the way apparently. I wish I could remember why we weren't friends.

"Oh, we're so glad you're okay. C'mon in," she said and walked away from the door. I walked in and shut the door behind me. I followed her to the living room where five other women were laughing and drinking and eating random things placed on trays. I wanted to cry.

This was so bizarre and not at all me. I was going to kick Edward's ass when I got home.

"Bella!" the four other women screeched. This time I couldn't stop the flinch. I was sensitive to loud sounds and bright lights, according to Dr. Cullen. I realized he was my father-in-law and I should call him Carlisle, as he had suggested, but I couldn't. Dr. Cullen was so much fun.

"Guys, some sensitivity," one woman said and the girls all nodded their agreement. I flashed a grateful smile at that one.

"I'm Angela," she said.

"Hi."

"She knows your name, Angie," Big Boobies said, taking a seat on the loveseat.

"Actually, I don't. I don't know…anyone," I said, glancing at the strange faces that stared at me as though I was a fish at an aquarium.

"Oh, so you really don't remember anything? Like nothing," a blonde lady asked. She looked like she could be related to Big Boobies.

I shook my head.

"Come sit here, hun," Big Boobies said, patting the empty space next to her. I went and sat.

"I'm Jess," said Big Boobies.

"I'm Lauren," said the twin.

"Jane," said the short brunette, who was still flipping through the book as though actually trying to catch up on it.

"Heidi," said the tall beautiful lady sitting across from me. Something about her seemed off.

I didn't like her either.

"God Bella, when we heard what happened, we were just beside ourselves," Angela said, staring at me with wide sincere brown eyes. I liked her. She may be the only one I actually liked.

"How is Edward taking the news?" the twin asked, leaning over and looking interested in the answer.

"Um, he's helping me. Dr. Cullen said I shouldn't try to push the memories, but to let them come on my own," I said, staring at my hands and at the fresh manicure I had on them. I started to pick the paint and Big—Jess, pulled my hands away.

"Oh gosh, honey, don't do that. It's horribly disgusting," she scolded and I stared at her in disbelief. What?

"Okay," I said and fought the urge to continue my nervous habit.

"Do you really not remember any of us?" Heidi asked with a raise of her beautifully arched brow. I shook my head. What was up with these air heads?

"Have you told Jake?" Jane asked, scooting toward the end of her seat.

"Who's Jake?" I asked. There was a collectible gasp among the girls.

"Oh C'mon Bella, don't tell me you've forgotten your lover boy as well," Heidi said. My heart pounded. Lover boy?

"Oh guys stop, you know nothing is going on between them," Angela said and suddenly it was like I wasn't in the room at all.

"But she wants there to be. And there was that kiss. And with Edward acting all distant I don't see why there can't be," the twin said.

"The kiss was Jake's fault," one of them said.

"Why let go of Edward, he's a great piece of ass," said another.

"So is Jake," said another.

"What I wouldn't give to be in your place, Bella."

"If I were you I would just go with it. No need why you can't have a little arm candy."

"Married to a gorgeous hunk and fucking another gorgeous hunk, its win/win."

Their voices mended together as their conversation flowed unnaturally fast around me. I couldn't keep up. My mind was in a whirl as their laughter swirled all around.

"I'm married!" I shouted, standing up suddenly.

"Oh, hun, that's no reason not to explore… what Edward doesn't know…" big boobs said and I shook my head. Who were these people?

"I'm sorry, I didn't know this meeting was for sluts," I said, grabbing my bag and walking out.

"Oh, don't act all high and mighty, Bella. You're no better than us!" Heidi shouted as I walked out the living room. Tears sprung to my eyes as I opened the door and slammed it shut. Fuck them. Bitches all of them.

Suddenly pieces of my life were coming together.

Was I having an affair? Was that the type of person I had turned into? A sob shook my shoulders. I hated women like that.

I left the yard and began walking down the road. I didn't know where I was going or how to get home; I just wanted to get away from those women.

"Bella!" a voice called after me. I turned around to see Angela strolling her car next to me.

"Get in," she ordered. I ignored her.

"Bella, get your ass in the car. C'mon. You actually like me. You just pretend to like the others," Angela said and I stopped and looked at her. She was smiling and reached over and opened the door. I sighed and slipped in. The least she could do was drive me home. "Better. Don't listen to those girls. They all want to screw your husband and get pissed when he rejects them. They're exactly what you called them: Sluts."

I smiled slightly.

"Am I cheating on Edward?" I asked, because honestly the thought broke my heart. Edward was a good man and if I didn't want to be with him, then the least I could have done was told him so, not gone behind his back. And the truly sad thing was that I didn't know why I wouldn't want to be with a man like him. He was caring and sweet and held me when I cried.

"No. You're not," she said and began to drive. I didn't know where we were going.

"Who is he?" I asked.

"He's… a friend. You haven't told Edward about him because last month Jacob told you he was in love you. You told him you didn't feel the same way, but you continued to see him because you said you were really confused," Angela explained.

"I don't love anyone right now," I said, picking my nails again. I wanted the polish off. It just reminded me of the bitches.

"You love Edward. You'll always love Edward and I'm going to tell you what I told the old Bella. You don't love Jake. You love the adventure and the newness he is or was, whatever, but you don't love the man. You love Edward."

"What were they saying about a kiss?"

"Jacob kissed you about a week or so before the accident. You haven't seen him since. Said you didn't trust yourself," she said. I felt the guilt creep on my body like a spider. It was uncomfortable and scary. I wanted to tell Edward immediately, but would he be mad?

How could I explain the situation when I had no idea what actually happened?

I closed my eyes and felt the tears slide down my cheeks. It hurt. It physically hurt to know I had become this strange slutty woman.

"Oh, Bella, don't cry," Angela said and grasped my hand.

"I just hate to think I'm that type of person, Angela. I'm not that type of person," I said. She nodded.

"Sweetie, this is gonna be hard, but have you ever thought maybe it's a good thing you lost your memory. Maybe it is Fate giving you a way to start all over," she said.

I glanced at her. She smiled and parked the car. When I look at my surrounding I realized she had driven me home.

Maybe she was right. Maybe this was a brand new start.

_**I love this chapter because it shows a little bit of the person Bella turned into. She isn't someone very pleasant. We will eventually know the person she became. Remember Edward's going to clue us in later in the story. **_

_**But what do you think about the "book" club? What about Angela?  
Share your thoughts.  
-T**_


	7. Reason

**Paperwork**

**Summary:** After Bella loses her memory in an accident, Edward must recount a journey with her that he has forgotten as well. Along the way they find the reasons they fell in love

Chapter 7

**June 14, 2012**

I was going to see Jake.

When I left the house before the accident. I was going to go to Jake's house.

I remembered that. I couldn't remember why I was leaving, or what Jake looked liked, or why I wanted to see him, but I was going to his house.

I remembered that.

I was sitting on the swing out on the porch. I hadn't gone in yet or let Edward know I was home. I wasn't ready to see him.

I opened my phone and flipped through the contacts. I deleted Jane, Jess, Lauren, and Heidi. I wanted nothing to with them.

When I reached the J's I spotted Jake's number as well. I stared at it for a very long time before deleting that number too. I wanted a new start. I wanted what Angela claimed was possible for me and so I deleted his number.

I felt this feathery lightness when it was gone. I was happy it was gone. It was my first step to moving on.

Next I went on Facebook and looked for a Jake on my page, there was none. Good.

I closed my phone and swung myself with my feet. I stared at the neighborhood. It was quiet here. It was nice. The door opened suddenly and a frantic looking Edward came out. He calmed when he saw me and I could literally see his breath of relief.

He walked toward me and sat next to me.

"Angela called. Said she dropped you off half hour ago. You scared me," he said. I didn't look at him. I didn't feel I could without crying.

"Those women are evil," I said instead. Edward snorted.

"Bout time you figured it out," he said, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees.

"You knew, you knew and you let me go," I yelled.

"They're you friends, whether I like them or not," he said. I shook my head.

"They're not my friends."

"Okay."

"I want to start new," I said simply.

"That sounds like a plan," he said.

I grasped his hand in mine and leaned back in the chair.

"You'll help me?" I asked, because if there was one thing I knew it was that I wanted Edward to be there with me every step of the way. I may have lost my path of travel, I may have lost myself, but Angela was right.

Maybe there was a reason to my accident.

Maybe this was a chance to change.

**_So we kind of see where this is headed right? Bella has some cleaning up to do.  
What do you think? Should she have told Edward? Is she right for not telling him?  
Share your thoughts.  
-T_**


	8. Esme

**Paperwork**

**Summary:** After Bella loses her memory in an accident, Edward must recount a journey with her that he has forgotten as well. Along the way they find the reasons they fell in love

Chapter 8: Esme

**June 14, 2012**

Edward had a brother and his brother had a wife.

Edward's brother's name was Emmett, his wife Rosalie. They also had a very small baby girl with thick black curls and dimples. She smiled a lot and was pretty familiar with me because she kept calling me 'Bewa'.

They were very intimidating people. Emmett because I swear his arm was the size of my neck… well maybe I was exaggerating, but believe when I say not by much. Rosalie because she was freakin' gorgeous. Like legit, she was the model that had yet to be discovered. Even the baby was intimidating because she was adorable with wide blue eyes and a soft smile that made me feel like I would go to war for her. It was scary.

"Jeez, Bella, way to give us a scare like that," Emmett said, walking toward the fridge and taking out a beer. Rosalie had sat at the island was analyzing me with her unnatural violet eyes.

We were all in the kitchen, currently awaiting the arrival or Dr. Cullen and his wife. The baby, whose name was Vera, waddled her way around the kitchen and back toward the living room.

Edward had told me it had been a while since we had gotten together with his family.

"I'm sorry?" I questioned. Emmett laughed.

"Do you really not remember me?" he asked with the wiggle of his eyebrows.

"I'm sorry, I guess you're not as unforgettable as you'd like to believe," I joked and Edward laughed.

"Oh, already back to the snarky Bella. I was hoping you'd lose her too," Emmett grumbled good naturedly. I laughed along. What I didn't tell him was that I did remember him. I remembered him from high school, but he had graduated before me and I didn't know him very well back then.

Rosalie didn't say much and every time I caught her gaze I felt unnerved.

Our conversation was cut short with the arrival of my in-laws.

Before I could greet them, I was brought into another tight hug for the second time today.

Only I liked this hug. The person was soft and smelled like a light perfume that was masked with the scent of laundry detergent. She smelled like a mom and I assumed I was being embraced by Esme, Edward's mother.

"Oh darling, I was so worried about you. I nearly broke Carlisle's rule when he said I couldn't see you anymore. I swear I had a heart attack," she said and pulled away.

Her face was framed with caramel colored waves. Her eyes were wide and green. They were decorated with a thick set of lashes that Edward had obviously inherited. Her face was sweet and round and she looked so young. Suddenly I remembered cooking in a kitchen with her, planning a wedding with her, getting my nails done. I remembered distancing myself from her, but deeply missing her.

"Esme," I said and my voice shook, because for some odd reason, my mind had decided to remember her. I grasped her tightly again, letting her scent bring some familiar memories and some foreign blurry things that wouldn't quite clear up.

I felt like my mind was a puzzle piece being placed back together in random bursts. She hugged me back and I realized I was crying.

Jeez, what was wrong with me? I was obviously broken. I had to be. Who cried this much? Bimbos without a brain and I guess you could say I didn't have a brain.

Oh, scarecrow, I feel your pain.

"Do you remember me, sweetie?" she asked and I nodded into her hair.

A small burst of cheers went through out the kitchen, Emmett being the loudest. I laughed and pulled away from Esme. Even Rosalie had a small smile on her face.

All these people rooting for my recovery, they wanted me to come back.

This made me incredible happy, but it also made me sad, because I was afraid. I was afraid I would never be the same Bella. I would never be their Bella, but I didn't think I wanted to.

And somehow I knew that because they were my family, they would be okay with that.

**_Next chapter we get some Edward and Bella time. I think they need it. _**

**_Thanks for sharing your thoughts, I love to read them. So don't forget to review and expect another update later today. _**

**_-T_**


	9. Kiss

**Paperwork**

**Summary:** After Bella loses her memory in an accident, Edward must recount a journey with her that he has forgotten as well. Along the way they find the reasons they fell in love

Chapter 9

**June 14, 2012**

"I can't believe you remembered my mom," Edward commented, later that night as we lay on our back, staring at the ceiling.

"Neither can I. I just have some strong memories of her," I said.

"You remember my mom and not me," he said.

"Does that bother you?" I asked.

"No. Yes. I don't know. I'm glad you remember my mom. She's a part of me. She's a part of our life, so it's nice to think you're remembering that, but I'm also just confused to how your brain works. I was never able to understand that," he said with a chuckle and I lightly pushed him. He grasped my hand and placed it on his chest as he played with my fingers.

"You know, when I went into English, I didn't think I'd become a librarian," I said, changing the topic because that was how my mind worked. He laughed.

"I know. You wanted to be a teacher," he said. It was weird that he knew these things about me.

"Well, it was more realistic than joining a rock band," I commented and he gasped. He turned and looked down at me.

"What did you say?" he asked and I stared at him with wide eyes.

I went over my words and as I processed what I said a slow smile came over my face.

"Hey, I remembered," I whispered. I remembered something about him. His smile was blinding and suddenly his lips were on mine.

There was no slow foggy moment to anticipate, no long drawled out phase, it was just his lips on mine and it felt really good.

His soft mouth moved against mine and I couldn't help but move with him, letting my hand tangle into his hair and bring his mouth closer. His lips opened and I wasn't far behind as he tentatively explored my mouth, like he was introducing himself to me.

I groaned and held him tighter, feeling his weight on top of me.

I didn't want him to stop. It was so nice. He moved his hips against my body and I gasped at the sensation it caused in my lower belly, the feeling of butterflies and pleasure. I could feel just how worked up he was. I wanted more, this just wasn't enough. My hands traveled down his back and under his shirt feeling the muscles of his back under my fingertips. He groaned as I lightly scratched my nails down his back.

His hips moved against mine once more and I had to pull away to catch a breath as I gasped once more. He didn't stop. His lips traveled down my jaw and toward my neck. It was like sensory overload. I needed more. I pushed my hips against his and suddenly stopped as a deep moan reverberated though him.

"Bella, we need to stop," he said.

"No, why?" I groaned, sending kissed down his cheek toward his neck.

"Please," he begged. The word was so unexpected I pulled back and rested my head on a pillow. He rolled away and the only sound in the room was our breath returning to normal.

"You started it," I said, after my I could speak normally. He laughed and ran a hand down his face.

"I know. I would say I'm sorry, but I'm not," he said with a grin.

"I'm sorry you stopped, but I understand why," I said.

It was too fast. I wasn't ready. Edward knew this when I was too overcome with other emotions to see it.

The reasons the old Bella loved this man were soon becoming mine.

**_Their first kiss. Well, since the accident. EPOV next to explain exactly what Bella remembered.  
_**

**_-T _**


	10. Goners

**Paperwork**

**Summary:** After Bella loses her memory in an accident, Edward must recount a journey with her that he has forgotten as well. Along the way they find the reasons they fell in love

Chapter 10: Goners

**September 7, 2006**

"You we're gone for a year," I told her this. She didn't need to know. I felt stupid.

"I spent a year with my mother."

"Now you're back?"

"Now I'm back. I'm starting college."

"What's your major?"

"English. Yours?"

"Music."

"What do you want to do with it?"

"I'm not sure, yet. Maybe teach. Maybe get lucky, join a band, and become famous. Possibilities are endless," I joked. She laughed. I felt a bit accomplished.

I didn't know then that this simple conversation could become so dangerous. I didn't know I was falling for her, I had already fallen. I didn't know love could be so simple. I thought it was dramatics and tears and kisses in the rain. I thought you had to be older, experienced. I thought you had to recognize it. I was wrong.

"Um, I'll see you soon, then?" she asked. I looked around and noticed we we're at her apartment. It was dark out. Had we really spent so much time together?

"Tomorrow?" I asked eager.

"Yes. Um, sure. Sounds great." She was eager, too. I could tell.

We smiled like loons.

We were goners and had no idea.

**_Oh Edward.  
thoughts? _**

**_**Okay so I was unaware that this chapter was posted instead was posted as chapter seven. I have corrected this and Chapter Seven: Reason is a completely different chapter. If you haven't read that yet, I would suggest going back and reading that real quick. Sorry guys. _**

**_-T_**


	11. Dramatics

Paperwork

Summary: After Bella loses her memory in an accident, Edward must recount a journey with her that he has forgotten as well. Along the way they find the reasons they fell in love

Chapter 11

**June 17, 2012**

This was the first part of my new life. The new me.

Edward waited in the driveway. He understood why I had to do this. I was scared. I was nervous.

After the encounter with the Bitch Club, I didn't really know how this would turn out. I was changing things.

But somehow I found the strength to lift my arm and ring the bell. I could hear the classic chime of the doorbell echo throughout the house. It was a chain reaction. A dog barked from somewhere far inside and was met with the sound of a screaming child.

Voices blended together as the footsteps neared the door, each one making my heart pound faster.

Suddenly it was thrown open and there she was. She looked older, but so did I. She had bags under her eyes and wrinkles around her eyes. Her normally styled short hair was longer and placed in a messy bun. She wore yoga pants and an oversized sweatshirt, a sweat shirt that was protruding over a rather large belly.

"Bella?" she asked, her voice rose in question.

"H-hey," I stuttered. She looked me over and I could only imagine what was playing throughout her mind.

"What the fuck happened to you?" she asked, her eyes scanning over me. I knew what she was seeing. The nearly faded bruise on my cheek, the small cuts that outlined my forehead. The large cut that ran down the middle and was still covered in stitches.

"I can't drive for shit," I said and she snorted.

"What are you doing here?" she asked and raised an eyebrow. What was I doing here?

"Trying to dramatically rekindle our friendship, but you know, without the dramatics," I said with a shrug.

"Then how is it dramatically rekindling it?" she asked.

"Because I've lost my memory," I stated. Her mouth may have fallen open a bit.

"What? Are you shittin' me?"

"Um, no, not really."

"Like how bad?"

"Well, um, you see that fine piece of ass in the car, I married him. I didn't know that when I woke up," I explained and she laughed and though we hadn't seen each other in years, I knew that laugh. I loved that laugh.

"We never stopped being friends. I just wanted you to get you head out of your ass," she said and held her arms opened. I fell into them immediately and she wrapped me up tight in her embrace. I felt the tears prick my eyes because I was so happy.

"Are you still hanging out with 'the girls,'?" Alice asked.

"They're bitches. Except maybe Angela, but she's kinda bitchy too," I said and Alice laughed and squeezed me tighter.

And then I was inside, meeting her two-year-old daughter and I was crying because she was so beautiful and full of life and I can't believe I missed out.

She talked about her day like there was nothing missing between us. She didn't talk about our separation, or the accident, or Edward. She talked about her pregnancy, she talked about her doctor, her daughter, her husband.

She never mentioned why we stopped talking. I appreciated it. She held no anger and I knew she missed me as much as I missed her.

**I am so sorry for not updating yesterday, or like…today. But life caught up with me and I had several 'gatherings' ( Or parties) but I prefer the word 'gathering' because then I don't sound like I was blowing you guys off.  
Which I wasn't. I was just…attending these uh…gatherings. **

**Anyway to make up for it I posted two chapters. **

**Also tomorrow may lack an update as well because I am going to see MAN OF STEEL. AHH! I am so excited I can barely contain it. I love Superman! **

**Anyway leave me with your thoughts. I appreciate them. **

**-Tanya **


	12. Jake

Paperwork

Summary: After Bella loses her memory in an accident, Edward must recount a journey with her that he has forgotten as well. Along the way they find the reasons they fell in love

Chapter 12

**June 19, 2012**

Edward dropped me off at the super market. It had been almost two weeks since my accident and I still wasn't clear to drive. Which was really okay because my dumbass would probably drive to England or something.

I had no idea what the streets were around here.

But I liked grocery shopping. I always have. There was something calm about moving through the aisle and just deciding what you needed or wanted. Tomorrow was Edward's birthday, which Rosalie had kindly let me know and I wanted to make him something good. Rosalie said Edward didn't like to make a big deal out of his birthday, which I could understand. I hated my birthday too.

Edward agreed to take me, but said he couldn't stay; he had a piece to finish or something.

That was fine. I think I liked shopping by myself.

I was strolling through the baking aisle, wondering if Isabella still baked or if it was going to be something new Bella brought back.

"Bella!" a deep masculine voice called and I looked around, startled that someone would call me. I was even more startled at who was coming toward me.

He was tall. Like really tall. He was deeply tanned and muscled. He had thick black ragged hair and an extremely white smile. Something in the pit of my stomach told me I knew who he was, but I ignored it.

"Do I know you?" I asked, raising an eyebrow and placing the bag of chocolate chips in my cart.

"Stop playin," he said, coming closer. I pulled my cart back and he stopped.

"Are you for real?" he asked and I continued to look at him with wide eyes.

"I'm sorry, I was in an accident—"

"Yeah, I heard about that, but I couldn't believe…you really have no idea? It's me, Jake," he said and I shook my head. No. No. I was starting anew. This was all new for me.

I hadn't stopped to think just because I was done with my old life, didn't mean my old life was done with me.

I pulled my cart around him and began to walk away. He followed.

"Bella, c'mon. We're friends," he said.

"No. No we're not. Because I don't want a friend that kisses a married woman. I don't want a friend like you. Maybe the old Bella did, but I'm not her, and I would really appreciate it if you left me alone," I said, ignoring him and looking through the shelves, desperately trying to concentrate on my shopping.

"Look, I mean I know you were mad at me about the kiss, but I mean when you come back, when you get back to nor—" I had to cut him off. I stopped and stared at him. He just didn't get it.

"No. No! The old Bella was mad at you, yes and with good reason, but I'm not the old Bella. I will never be the old Bella. Old Bella loved her husband and rejected you and so am I and though I may not have all my memories, I'm still sane. I still recognize my emotions; my mentality isn't going to change. Old Bella isn't coming back and new Bella, me, doesn't want you in her life and if you cared for me, like you so claim, you would understand," I said and watched his crestfallen expression slowly morph over his features. I pushed my cart away, because I had a heart, I did, and I couldn't stand to watch his break.

Old Bella had really left a mess for me to clean. She had done things and left ends untied everywhere and trying to fix them was exhausting.

But I hoped he would get the message. I hoped he would understand.

And most of all I hoped he wouldn't be the ruin to my new start.

_**So I know I have a lot of apprehension with Jake. Jake is mentioned. He is a character in my story, but he is by NO means a MAIN character. He will have his part in the story, but this is probably the last time we'll see him in person. The next time we see or hear about Jake will be in her memories. **_

_**I promise. **_

_**Anyway. Share your thoughts. **_

_**Ps. I watched the new Man of Steel. It was incredible. I mean I've always loved Superman, but this was definitely a great film. I would suggest watching it (if ya know you're into that)**_

_**-Tanya**_


	13. Dream

Paperwork

Summary: After Bella loses her memory in an accident, Edward must recount a journey with her that he has forgotten as well. Along the way they find the reasons they fell in love

Chapter 13

**June 21, 2012**

I remembered Jake. I don't remember everything about him and the memory is foggy, as though missing something, but I remember the kiss. I remember what happened.

At first I thought it was a dream, but the familiarity of the situation quickly woke me from my light slumber and even continued to play throughout my head like a bad movie.

I laid in best, staring at the ceiling and lit it live out in my head, trying to grasp the missing element that kept the memory from being real.

It was a rainy day. We had a window seat at our favorite café, which is where we usually hung out. The raindrops were pelting the window and sliding down, making the outside seem blurry and gray. Jake had gone to the washroom, leaving me alone for a moment.

I was ready to leave. The hour was late. I was just waiting for him to get back, to say goodbye.

And then he was walking toward me, looking distracted and maybe nervous. I smiled and lifted myself from my seat, ready to depart.

He stood in front of me and something about his expression had me asking if he was okay.

His words were mashed together and he kept fiddling with his fingers. Saying something about feeling it for a long time and knowing I couldn't be obtuse. Saying he loved me and he had to know. He had to try something.

Amongst the mid of confusion I opened my mouth to gently refuse him, to remind him I was married and I was not in love with him, however, before I could let those words out he kissed me.

Right there in the middle of the coffee shop. I should have pushed him off. I was going to push him off, but the unexpectedness of the act had me frozen for perhaps a moment too long. Jake tried to deepen the kiss, in which I had not responded to, and my sense came about me. I pulled away and pushed him back. He was not expecting it and stumbled away for a moment.

I'm not sure what reaction he was hoping for, but I had the distinct feeling I gave him the wrong one. I slapped him across the cheek, leaving it red and stinging. The sound caused a few of the patrons to turn my way. Jake's eyes were full of shock and maybe hurt. I grabbed my bag and walked out the coffee shop, quickly getting in my car. I took a deep breath to steady myself.

And then the memory fogs once more. I can't remember what I did after or what came before. But I do remember watching Heidi's car pull away from the curb and wondering what she had been doing there.

I rubbed my eyes tiredly. Why was that memory so vivid? Why could I remember Jacob, but I couldn't remember my own husband.

My husband who was sweet and kind and made me laugh. My husband whose smile drove me crazy and whose eyes seem to stare into my very being.

My husband who was currently lying on his stomach with his arm draped across my stomach. I had come to the realization that while Edward slept, he always held on to me. Whether it was his arm around my waist, or his foot grazing mine, or his hand placed over my fingers, he was always touching me.

It was sweet and endearing and I realized it was a habit I had picked up as well because if I wasn't touching him, sleep seemed wrong.

I turned to myself and watched him sleep.

His silky bronze hair falling over his forehead and playing in front of his eyes. I couldn't resist pushing it away from his face. He was really something. His mouth was slightly open with small puffs of air coming out, his lips full and pink and looked like they belonged on a small boy, not the scruffy jaw of a man.

His thick eyelashes sent shadows down his defined cheek bones and I couldn't help thinking he was absolutely gorgeous.

"Why can't I remember you?" I whispered, feeling the question linger within the quiet room.

And then I felt the tears prickle in my eyes and sighed. I was so sick of crying. I was so sick of being upset, but I couldn't help it. I did remember some things.

I remembered spilling my coffee all over his shirt and feeling mortified, wanting to help clean it, wanting to run away, wanting everyone to stop staring at us. I looked up and was met with eyes that somehow were impossible to forget, because when I saw his eyes again, I remembered the Edward Cullen of high school. I remembered blushing every time we shared biology. Forgetting to copy down the homework, so I had reason to talk to him. I remembered shyly glancing at him in the cafeteria and rooting for only him during whatever sport game I had been at.

And he remembered me. He noticed my absence from the town and joked with me and I felt bubbly and girly. He walked with me and dropped me off home, where I squealed like a teenager when I closed my front door. I remember that, but it wasn't enough.

I wanted my memories, even if they were bad.

I wanted to remember him.

I wanted to remember our first kiss, our first date.

I wanted to remember our first time.

I wanted to remember our wedding.

Our life.

Him.

I wanted to remember falling in love with him.

Where did old Bella go wrong?

Where did she loose Alice? Why did she make friends with the slutty bitches? Why did she forget me? Why did she forget the person she used to be, the person I still am?

I sighed and rolled back over.

I let thoughts drift around my head, trying to remember what I could, trying to force memories, but it was no use.

It began to rain again and the sound of the drops hitting my window began to lull me back to sleep, but not before I felt Edward's grip tighten and pull me closer to him.

_**So she remembered what happened and we got the chance to see how the kiss played out. A lot of confusion for our poor Bella.**_

_**Answers will come, I assure you.  
Anyway, I really really enjoy reading your thoughts. Thanks so much for sharing them with me. Please Review. **_

_**Maybe another update today... I'm not sure. **_

_**-Tanya**_


	14. Date

Paperwork

Summary: After Bella loses her memory in an accident, Edward must recount a journey with her that he has forgotten as well. Along the way they find the reasons they fell in love

Chapter 14: Date

**September 9, 2006**

Our first date was nothing less than a disaster.

I was nervous as fuck.

That's the thing about girls, they got fussy and worried about their appearance and behavior and words and all that other bull shit, thinking it came so easy for us. We guys got just as fussy.

Just as nervous.

My hands shook as I waited for her to come down to the steps.

"Hi," she said, closing the door behind her and offering a bright smile. I smiled too. She had that affect. I realized then I should have told her how beautiful she was. How she took my breath away. How I couldn't believe she had accepted a date with me, but none of those words seemed right. Nothing I could say could possibly explain how she looked to me that night. So I guess I said nothing and hoped the silence could get across what words could not.

"So what do you want to do?" she asked. We fell into step together, walking down the block of the peaceful neighborhood.

"Um, I don't know. Dinner?" I was an idiot. Bumbling and babbling and feeling inadequate.

She smiled and the feelings went away. I should have known then and there that this was different. She was different. I should have known, I should have seen it coming, but I didn't.

"Sounds great. There's a diner not too far from here. We can walk if you would like," she offered and I nodded. I had nothing to say.

We attempted small talk the way there, but failed. I couldn't seem to come up with anything. I couldn't seem to say anything. My mind was a plethora of questions, wanting to know everything from her favorite color to whether she preferred the writing of Hemingway or Fitzgerald. I could have asked one of the questions, something, but I was nervous and though I didn't know it at the time, I was on the first date with the last girl—and most likely the first, because the other times just didn't feel like this—I would ever love.

I hoped the diner would provide more conversations.

It did. For a while.

"I had a huge crush on you," she told me, dipping a fry in ketchup. I laughed.

Because here's the thing about Bella Swan. She wasn't just any girl. She was the girl. The girl each guy had at least thought about wanting, but pushed it away because somehow they knew they would never stand a chance with her. To be honest, it wasn't her looks, although she was far from plain, it was the aura of unattainable that surrounded her that made her all more attractive. And she didn't realize it. She was quiet and sweet and guys like me dreamed about introducing her to the family. She was the kind of girl you hoped you met later down the road because once you had her, you would want to keep her, and in high school, for a 17-year-old boy, that could be very intimidating

"Really?" Because had I known, had I actually stood a chance with her I would have run to accept it.

"Yeah. I was absolutely infatuated. I thought you would see right through me. To be honest I feel like I'm in high school all over again." She blushed and looked away.

"I do too," I admitted to her, because I was intimidated. Because though I would never admit it to myself or even to her, I thought about sliding a ring on her finger and I thought about a life together. I thought about always being able to keep the girl like her.

Suddenly our intense moment was interrupted by the waitress that was too eager and too excited.

"The check," the bubbly waitress said. She placed it down with an overbearing smile and strutted away.

"I got it," I said, reaching forward enthusiastically. My hand accidently tipped a cup of soda over, the contents spilling on my date's lap. She stood rapidly and desperately grabbed napkins.

"Shit! I'm sorry! Fuck, I shouldn't swear, shit!" I was babbling like an idiot, trying my best to apologize and hold back the despair that had crept at the thought of ruining my first (Please, not my last) date with her. She was laughing, hard, breaking me out of my trance and staring at her with wide eyes.

"It's okay. We're even," she said with a wink. I was confused at first and then I remembered.

"Well let's try not to make it a habit," I joked. She laughed. I got that strange feeling.

We cleaned the mess with the help of the waitress and walked out. We held hands on our walk back. This time the chatter didn't lull. Our steps slowed, both of us not wanting the night to end.

We made it to her apartment.

And suddenly we were plunged into this awkward moment, wondering who should make the first move, if a move should be made. And we stared at each other and laughed awkwardly and suddenly, I didn't really care. I wanted to kiss her.

I leaned close and placed a kiss on her lips. It was soft as our lips met for the first time. Finding each other and feeling like a reunion. It was slow and peaceful and we reluctantly pulled away. Her hands dropped from my hair and she blushed.

Suddenly a small drop of water ran down her cheek. I was confused. Was she crying? Had I fucked up again? Damn it, why couldn't I get it right? But then I realized she was just as confused as I was. She looked up and I felt a sharp sting on my own cheek. Water. I looked up and it started.

Pouring.

Soaking us to the bone.

She laughed. And then looked at me.

"I've never been kissed in the rain," she said and I smiled because though our date was embarrassing and I fucked up more ways than one, I knew how to end it perfectly.

I kissed her again and knew there was no coming back from her.

As I deepened the kiss and felt her body form around me, a forgotten thought crept back into my mind.

I guess I was right. Love was kisses in the rain.

**_Poor Awkward Edward. _**

_**So it wasn't the perfect romantic evening, but I think it was sweet.**_

_**Share your thoughts, I love reading them. **_

_**-Tanya**_


	15. Attic

Paperwork

Summary: After Bella loses her memory in an accident, Edward must recount a journey with her that he has forgotten as well. Along the way they find the reasons they fell in love

Chapter 15

**June 27, 2012**

It was seriously dusty up here. It was gross.

The whole placed seem to be covered in a thin sheet of gray and if I moved too fast it lifted the dust into big clouds that made my eyes water.

This is why I should have had a kid, so I could have sent him to clean the attic.

It was late and Edward hadn't been home all day. He had a meeting with a school or something and said it would be a long day. I nodded and assured him I would be fine. And I was. Except I was incredibly bored.

After three weeks I still wasn't cleared to drive. Well to be honest, I'm not sure I wanted to drive. Edward was kind enough to take me wherever I needed to be. Not that I had a lot of things to do.

I didn't have a lot of friends outside the Bitch Club. Sometimes I called up Angela or Alice and they would take me for a lunch, but they were busy today.

So for about an hour I lay in bed and stared at the ceiling wondering if I should feed myself or not.

I eventually got up when my stomach decided to sound like a pit bull. Watched some Grey's anatomy reruns on lifetime and munched on some fruit.

Lifetime really pissed me off. It kept jumping around the seasons. It would get really current and then fly back to the first episode and I'm sorry but a Grey's Anatomy without both McDreamy and McSteamy just wasn't the same.

Edward found it amusing that it happened to be the only thing that didn't alter from my memory. I was completely caught up in the series.

Anyway after the show had ended and I had nothing better to do I explored my house and came to the realization that we had an attic. I knew Edward had mentioned it before, but I hadn't really been paying attention.

After shifting around some boxes, I found one labeled wedding. Opening it I found some really trivial stuff. A couple pictures. A few video tapes. The invitations. The guest list. I had no idea I saved things like this. I had no idea I would have had such an intricate wedding. I always imagined running away to city hall. The whole big wedding thing gave me shudders. It was so stressful and involved so much work and being me, I was sure to mess it up.

In the bottom of the box I pulled out a really fancy photo album.

The kind where the pictures were printed in the book and it kinda looked like a scrap book as well.

_The Cullen Wedding_ was written on the front in a fancy elegant font that swirled all around the cover.

I opened it and smiled. The first picture was of Alice and me. I was in my wedding gown, but I was obviously still getting ready. Alice had her arms around my neck and was kissing my cheek and I was laughing openly.

I flipped through a few familiar faces, a few unknown.

I stopped when I came across the picture of Edward. The picture was taken from what I would be seeing.

He stood at the end of the alter, looking a little younger. He was dressed in a black tux and his hair was tamed, something that I had never seen before. He wore his signature smirk and his eyes were glowing. He looked so happy.

I smiled.

I wished I could remember walking toward him. The next page was him kissing me in front of the priest. My arms were wound around his neck, his hands gripping my waist. We were both fighting a smile as we tried to continue the kiss. I giggled; leave it up to me to mess up the first kiss as husband and wife.

I flipped again and came across the reception. My mother was making a toast. My father was dancing with me. I was hugging Esme. Carlisle was shaking Edward's hand. I was shoving a piece of cake into Edward's face and laughing. He was kissing me. We stared at the camera our faces colored in frosting.

Emmett and Rosalie clinking their glasses.

Alice catching the bouquet.

Jasper, Alice's husband, kissing her cheek.

Emmett and Alice sharing the best man and maid of honor dance.

My mother dancing with Edward.

Edward dancing with me.

I flipped through all these pictures, desperate to remember one of them. To feel like I had when it was taken.

But it was useless. It was like staring at a baby picture and trying to remember what happened after it was shot. You couldn't because your mind hadn't captured it. Only my mind had captured this, it just lost it.

I flipped to the last page and the picture made me smile.

The caption underneath read: And they lived happily ever after.

Edward and I sat next to one another. I don't think we knew we were being photographed.

His head was an inch away from mine, as though he had just pulled away from a kiss. A smile played on his lips, while his hand tipped my chin up. I stared up at him, my eyes bright and happy. My own hand resting on his wrist and my mouth smiling softly.

They looked so happy. So in love.

It was so strange, watching myself fully in love with a man I really didn't know.

But I was learning more and more about him. In the three weeks I had spent with him, I could easily see how easy it was to fall for him. He was sweet and did thoughtful things. He cleaned up after himself. He liked his music and hummed whenever he could.

He watched Grey's with me and when he told me about his day, I was captivated by his voice and his mannerisms. He knew how to tell a story. Hell, he could read the phone book and I'm sure I would be just as enraptured.

He was funny and sometimes immature, but that was okay. We couldn't be serious all the time. We watched cartoons together and fought over the last slice of pizza.

He wasn't perfect in the least. He was a bit of neat freak and I knew it bothered him when I left little things around the house. Sometimes I did it just to irk him. He knew it too.

These past three weeks have probably been the best of my life. I loved being married to Edward. I loved Edward.

Holy shit. I loved Edward. I loved my husband. In just _three_ weeks. Was that even possible?

I giggled slightly. I guess it was. I just wished I could remember all these things.

"Bella?!" his panicked voice called and startled me from my haze. I lifted myself off the dusty ground and made my way down the stairs. I had just reached the bottom stair when the door was pulled open and Edward's worried face was in my vision.

Relief poured over him and I smiled, ready to explain myself, but I was brought in a tight hug.

"You scared me," he whispered. I rolled my eyes. He was really a bit overprotective.

"I'm fine, I was just exploring. I'm sorry I frightened you," I said, backing away and placing a light kiss on his lips. He smiled.

Our touches had been very light. Quick kisses before leaving, long kisses before night. Random kisses though out the day. It wasn't that I didn't want to further explore what was between us, but I think we were both a little hesitant. This was still new for me.

"What were you doing up there?" he asked, pulling me away from the stairwell and closing the door. I held up the book I had brought with me. He grinned and took it from me.

"Wow, I haven't seen this in a while," he said, opening and flipping through the pictures.

"I was hoping it would trigger something," I said, shrugging.

"Did it?" he asked. He looked hopeful.

"No. Not really," I said with a heavy sigh.

"They'll come. Don't get frustrated," he said, bringing me close and kissing my forehead.

"I just, I feel so lost sometimes. It's like I'm visiting this strange place and I can't wait to get home, only this is my home, you know, and I don't know anything about it," I said and ran a hand through my hair. He offered a sad smile.

"I wish I could offer more words of comfort, but I'm afraid I can't."

_**Sorry I didn't update earlier guys. My computer has been acting very weird and I was also prepping my house for a…gathering.**_

_**Anywho…(huh?) is it anywho or anyhoo? Either way Word says the word doesn't exist.**_

_**ANYWAY! Please let me know what you thought. I'll try to get the next chapter up as soon as I can.  
-T**_


	16. Rain

Paperwork

Summary: After Bella loses her memory in an accident, Edward must recount a journey with her that he has forgotten as well. Along the way they find the reasons they fell in love

Chapter 16: Rain

**June 27,2012**

I sat on the back porch, watching the rain fall and listening to the crackle of lightening every once in a while. The summer heat keeping me warm as the rain poured around me.

"It's late," he said, opening the screen door and coming to join me. I nodded.

"I couldn't sleep," I told him. He took a seat next to me.

I don't know what it was, but something about the rain felt… romantic for me. Which was funny because it had only developed recently. I used to hate the rain.

"Our first kiss was in the rain," he said. I glanced at him.

"Really?"

"Yeah. After a horrible date. I spilled soda all over you. I was awkward and silent. I was nervous. I just made a complete ass of myself and I was sure you would never want to see me again," he said and I laughed.

"I doubt it," I commented. He grinned.

"Well anyway, after this horribly awkward and messy date, I walked you home and I kissed you and when I pulled away I thought you were crying, 'cause there was water on your cheek and then it just started pouring. We were wet instantly and I kissed you again," he told me and I tried to picture it. I tried to picture that happening.

I couldn't. Instead I lifted myself from the lounge chair and walked out the safety of the back porch and into the rain. The water hit me in big loud drops.

"Show me," I shouted over the roar of the water. He shook his head and came to join me in the rain.

He stood in front of me and pushed my soaked hair away from my face as his thumb gently traced under my eye.

I met his gaze head on. He looked so serious. Before I could ask what was wrong he placed his mouth on mine and I moaned.

This kiss was different. I felt it.

His mouth was demanding and moved mine, his tongue tracing my lips and sending heat down my body. I buried my hands in his hair bringing him closer, moving my lips against his, feeling his skin mold against mine. Feeling our tongues joining together. Feeling his body press against mine.

His fingers traveled to my waist, tucking under my wet shirt. Then suddenly he was peeling it off my body. A part of me wanted to reject, wanted to wait, but I couldn't.

I broke from his lips with a gasp and the shirt flew off. His mouth quickly reattached to mine and there I was. Kissing him in the rain with just a bra. His hands traveled up and down my skin, making it tingle and light with fire. I reached for his own shirt and he quickly ripped it off himself. My fingers itched to touch the definition of his arms, his chest, his stomach, all covered with water and hard beneath my hands.

His hands traveled to my bra, unhooking it with ease and peeling it off my body as his hands grasped my breast. I gasped. I couldn't help how exotic this felt. How exposed. How wanted I felt.

His teeth nipped my lips and I moaned at the sensation of him. I wanted him. I wanted him so badly. I pulled him closer and he lifted my legs around his waist. He caught me, lifting me and we were moving. My mouth never leaving his, continuing to nip, suck, bite, lick. Anything. I needed this. Needed him.

He stopped to push me against the wall, taking his time with his mouth. I moaned as I felt his graze my ear lobe. Somewhere between the bites and groping we made it into the bedroom. I could barely focus with his hands on me.

I felt him place me on the bed, felt the sheets immediately absorb the water on our skin.

I peeled his clothes away he peeled mine and I couldn't help but think how beautiful he was.

His lips moved across my body, down my collar bone, toward my breast. Sucking, licking, nipping all the way through. He was driving me crazy.

He hands traveled everywhere, playing my body like one of his instruments. Making me loose all thought.

That was the thing about sex. I could never describe it. It wasn't something you could describe.

It was what you felt.

It was the sensation of skin to skin contact. It was the heat pooling in the bottom of your stomach. It was the stretch as your body accepted someone else. The hands on your hips griping tighter. Running your hands down his back, digging your nails into his flesh as his hips lifted to hit _that_ spot

It was something you heard. The grunts in your ear. The breathless gasps. The words. The exotic heart thumping commands of faster, harder, slower. The signs of approval. The moans, the groans, the heavy breathing.

It was all of it, combined.

"Bella, I…"

"Please," I whispered softly into his ear.

What I was asking for, I don't know. I was so far gone. I could feel my word spinning, my stomach tightening. My legs wrapping around him, wanting him closer.

The thunder seemed to shake the walls. The lightening allowing brief glances at one another.

And in those glances, I could see this was more than sex. It was more than resolved tension. It was love. It was lust. It was adoration.

And suddenly I was gasping, and breathing harshly as I held on to him, hoping he'd keep me together as I fell apart inside.


	17. Love

Paperwork

Summary: After Bella loses her memory in an accident, Edward must recount a journey with her that he has forgotten as well. Along the way they find the reasons they fell in love

Chapter 17

**June 28, 2012**

Afterward we lay next to each other. Side by side, our feet entangled in one another. His hand drawing lazy circles on my hip.

"Am I very different from her?" I whispered after some time had passed and I had grown tired of listening to the soft patter of rain against the window.

"Who?"

"The old Bella?"

"Sometimes. Sometimes you're exactly the same, but most of the time—like now for instance— I feel like I'm having an affair," he chuckled and I managed a grim smile. I'm not sure how I felt about that.

"So now I'm the dirty mistress," I teased, deciding to be playful. He barked a laugh.

"Stop comparing our lives to that stupid fictional show."

"It's not fictional. The cases they get are actually based off real surgeries and diseases and what not," I said indignantly. Secretly I loved he knew me so much to pick at my subtle references. It was strange for me. I was the one that remembered the little things about people. I knew that my mom hated flowers unless they were potted because they lasted longer. I knew my dad only ever drank orange juice with eggs. I knew Alice couldn't stand watching reality shows.

But people forgot stuff about me. I didn't like lime. I didn't like pink. I hated skirts, but loved dresses. I didn't wear bracelets. Everyone forgot those things about me, but Edward knew them. I would open my mouth to make a comment about it and he already knew what I was going to say. It was unnerving and flattering and I was beginning to know what it felt like to be in love. It was knowing someone so fully and completely you knew them better than you knew yourself.

He only smirked at my comment and continued to stare at me.

"I hate that I'm so different," I admitted sometime later after the staring was beginning to bother me.

"It doesn't matter. You're here now. Maybe that's all that matters," he said.

"Do you miss her?" I asked.

"The old Bella?" he questioned. I nodded, or at least tried to with my head plastered to the pillow.

He sighed heavily.

"I miss the memories. I hate that I'm still such a stranger to you," he said.

I took his hand and held it between us. He wasn't a stranger. Not anymore. For instance I was picking up on things about him. If he was in a good mood he would hum a melody and do mundane chores around the house. If he was in a bad mood he'd lock himself in the music room and bang on his piano until he got out whatever was upsetting him. When he was tired he stared at things for longer than necessary. He liked his coffee with two scoops of sugar. He preferred wearing jeans, but always dressed nicely when meeting people for compositions.

I knew these things. These subtle things no one else knew.

"You're not a stranger. I feel like you know me better than myself. Literally," I joked and he chuckled. He scooted closer and wrapped his hand around my waist tucking my head underneath his chin. My forehead resting against his warm chest.

"I love you, Bella," he whispered and I felt the words hit me straight in the heart.

"I…I love you, too," I breathed back, feeling as though I was giving him a piece of my soul, my heart and in a way I guess I was. I guess I already had. I smiled. It was nice to be in love with my husband.

"What if they don't come back? I'll never be that Bella again," I shared. He sighed heavily and I scooted closer into his chest, feeling safe. Feeling loved.

"It's okay. We'll be okay," he said and I started to believe.

I started to believe him.

_**So they talked…among other things.**_

_**Thanks a lot for your support guys it means a lot. So don't forget to review, to let me know just what you think of this little tale of mine. **_

_**The next chapter gets a little darker as it begins to take us to life before the accident. But life for Bella and Edward as of right now will be filled with happy moments. I think they deserve that. Remember I'm trying to keep the story as light as possible. **_

_**-Tanya**_


	18. Girls

Paperwork

Summary: After Bella loses her memory in an accident, Edward must recount a journey with her that he has forgotten as well. Along the way they find the reasons they fell in love

Chapter 18: Girls

It didn't start dramatically. I didn't think it would turn into anything. I didn't know what was at stake.

It was the small things. The habits I noticed she began to pick up.

The friends she began to make.

The way she dressed.

It happened so subtly I didn't even know. How could I? I never expected it.

"Emmett called. He wants to go out for dinner," I called, walking near the bedroom. She stepped out, placing a hoop into her ear.

"I can't."

I was stunned. She never refused dinner with my brother. She loved Emmett and Rosalie. It wasn't upsetting. I could understand. It was just unlike her. I laughed and raised a brow. She offered a sheepish smile.

"Um, can I ask why?"

"The girls invited me to dinner. I already said yes, I can't just cancel. It's rude, you know?" she said, placing the other earring in and walking past me to find her shoes. I followed behind her.

She had met the girls when they came into the library asking for new book suggestions for their book club. Somehow she had become one of them.

"This is the third time, this week," I said. It seemed like she was almost never home. She walked into the living room and found her heels. She slipped them on and turned to face me.

"Well, they're my friends," she said. I walked closer and placed my hands on her hips.

"And you're my wife. And I miss you," I told her, leaning down and placing a soft kiss on her lips. I felt her mouth curve into a smile as she kissed me back. "Stay home, with me. Please?" I asked, kissing her a bit harder.

She pulled away before I could deepen it further. Her hands came and buried themselves in the hair at the back of my neck. I loved when she did that.

"Edward…" she said, using her disapproving voice. I sighed. I would never tell her, and perhaps that is where I made my mistake, but I felt at that moment that 'the girls' always came before me. I let her go and walked out the room.

I'm not laying complete fault on her. Because when her voice yelled, "Edward!" after I had walked out, I should have turned back around.

I should have told her to stay. Told her I wanted her, needed her to stay. But I didn't. I walked away.

And it was just the start.

For both of us.

_**So if you noticed, this chapter doesn't have a date. This chapter does however take place in the past. I couldn't really put dates on these chapters because they're supposed to take place over time. **_

_**Anyway, please let me know what you think.  
Sorry for the late update guys. Life has been really busy for me. **_

_**-Tanya **_


	19. Laundry

Paperwork

Summary: After Bella loses her memory in an accident, Edward must recount a journey with her that he has forgotten as well. Along the way they find the reasons they fell in love

Chapter 19

**June 28, 2012**

The door of the laundry room opened and my eyes snapped up from the clothes I was currently folding. Alice sauntered into the room. I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Okay, well, I got to let you go, mom," said into the receiver. My mother rushed to say her goodbye. I let her know I loved her and quickly hung up the phone. My mom had been on vacation when I had the accident. Now that she was back in the states she was worried sick. Between her and my father's phone calls they would drive me insane.

However, knowing I was in Edward's care was more reassuring to them than anything else I could do.

"Hey, what are you doing here?" I asked with a smile, placing my phone on the table. Our relationship was slowly coming together.

"Edward let me in, said he had a big meeting today," she said, walking in and sitting on a chair. She rubbed her belly and took a big sigh. I laughed.

"He's…really great, isn't he?" I said, biting my lip and blushing.

"Edward?" she asked. I nodded. "Yeah. He's great."

"I feel like he's too good to be true. Guys like him don't exist. But he's sweet and patient and when I'm with him…I feel like… I don't even know," I giggled, sitting down and ignoring the basket of clothes lying on the table.

"Oh boy, I've heard this before. You love him, huh?" she asked.

"How can I not? I feel like I don't deserve him," I whispered. Alice was the only one I could share these feelings with. She just understood.

"But that's the thing. You do deserve him. This you, the one who dumped the bitch brigade and blushes and eats in the living room. This Bella deserves him and he loves this Bella," she said, smiling.

No matter how many years had passed between us, she still knew exactly what to say when I didn't even know how to get better. I couldn't help but feel guilty for how I had treated her, even if I didn't remember, I knew she did.

"Alice, I'm sorry for everything. I know I hurt you and I know I was different. But I don't want to be that person. I don't even know who that person was and she did some really bad things," I whispered. I needed help. I needed Alice. She leaned forward and patted my hand.

"I know."

"What happened? Why did I get like that?"

"I don't know. One day these women with fake tans and fake boobs came in and asked what a good book was for their club. You got excited like the little bookworm you are and I guess you just hit it off. They offered you a spot and you said yes. I met them a few times, called them bitches and pretty soon, I was being left out of everything. I guess I was replaced," she said, shrugging as though it didn't affect her.

Maybe not, but it affected me.

"You could never be replaced. I'm sorry. Those women are whores and bitches. And you are a far better person."

"Oh, I know. But I'm glad your back," she said, smiling. We laughed like teenagers until it slowed down to a comfortable silence. I know Alice missed me and I wished I could say the same, but in my mind it had only been a few weeks since I talked to her, not years.

"I'm scared, Alice. What if I get my memory back and just go back to being someone I don't want to be. What if I remember why I was acting like that and I justify it all over again?" I asked, watching her face with wide eyes.

She just smiled softly.

"Bella, even if you did get your memory back, you've seen everything with clear eyes again. You're you and only you can say what you're going to do, but I have faith in you. You've never made the same mistakes twice, I don't think you'll start now," she said and I instantly felt better.

She was right. Even if my memory was found, I doubt I'd go back to those girls. I mean how could I do something I so clearly didn't want to do?

There were some days I thought I would be better off without my memory.

::*::

I loved to cook. I always had.

In this kitchen, I loved it even more. It was so spacious and the appliances were shiny and new. I didn't even know if it was possible to own these many pots and pans.

There were pans in my cabinet that I didn't even know how to use. Obviously I had learned some new recipes.

I found a few books and decided to make a chicken dish. I'd never made it before or at least I didn't think I did. It looked delicious.

Alice had left about an hour ago and I decided I should try to make dinner for when Edward came home. I was so wrapped up in my new recipe I didn't even hear him come in.

"Whatcha' doing?" Edward said from behind me, wrapping his arms around my midsection as I stirred the rue for the chicken.

"Cooking a baby," I replied, as though he couldn't already tell.

"Smells delicious," he said, resting his chin on my shoulder.

"Mmm, I hope it tastes good," I said, tilting my head as he placed small kisses along my neck. Since last night Edward had been much more affectionate. I guess there was no reason to hold back now.

Trust me. I wasn't complaining.

"Do you normally enjoy eating babies?"

"Well I heard they were wonderfully nutritious plus they smell good," I quipped.

"This is a wonderful secret delicacy. Do you think we'll get in trouble for eating babies?"

"I think it depends on whose baby we're eating?"

"I think it's a generally bad thing to eat babies" Edward said, pinching my side and making squirm as I fought off the giggles.

"People eat eggs. And veal? What about veal? That's a baby cow, Edward. Who's protecting those babies?" I answer, fighting off his hands. He stepped away and I could see his shoulders shaking as he laughed.

"I was under the impression we were talking about human babies."

"What would give you that impression? Maybe you're the sick one here," I answered. He shook his head, laughing at my idiocy.

"Whatever you say, love."

"Hey can you make a Cesar salad? With baby tears as dressing?" I called as he walked out the kitchen.

_**I know I promised an update everyday, but RL has been kicking my ass. I got really sick yesterday and I feel like I'm just starting to recover.**_

_**Anyway let me know what you think. Another update tomorrow. I promise**_

_**-Tanya **_


	20. Heidi

Paperwork

Summary: After Bella loses her memory in an accident, Edward must recount a journey with her that he has forgotten as well. Along the way they find the reasons they fell in love

Chapter 20

**July 4, 2012**

"We go to this every year?" I asked, picking off a bit of my cotton candy and stuffing it in my mouth.

"Emmett enjoys coming. It's been a tradition since we got married," he said, biting off a snow cone.

"I don't see how this can be enjoyable?" I commented, even if I was loving the surgery fluff I was currently stuffing in my mouth.

"You'll see when we get there. Plus Vera loves the firework show, it's almost worth it just to see her giggle like that," he mused and I laughed. Vera really had everyone wrapper around her chubby little finger.

"Bella!" a strange voice called and my head snapped toward the sound. I could feel Edward tense as he spotted who was coming near us. It was one of the book club ladies.

What the hell was her name?

"Heidi," Edward said and for a moment I thought he was answering my internal question. Which caused me to freak out a little because like what the fuck? Since when could he read minds? But then I realized he was simply using her name as a greeting.

"Edward. So nice to see you again," she said, smiling with shiny red lips. I didn't like that smile. It felt like she was hiding something.

"Can't say I feel the same," Edward mumbled. She smiled and her eyes roamed his body like he was a piece of meat. Well, he was my piece of meat, lady. Well, he wasn't, he was a human being, but he still belonged to me.

"Always so friendly," Heidi said, placing a pale hand on his forearm. Nuh uh, I was drawing a line right there. I grabbed her hand and yanked it away. Seriously it was the middle of summer. Why was she so freaking pale? Fucking vampire wannabe bitch.

"Was there a reason for this unfortunate meeting?" I quipped.

"Bella, why so hostile?" she said, smiling as though my words weren't filled with venom. I swear she was a snake.

"Get to the point, Heidi," Edward growled, placing a hand on my hip and glaring at the overly pretty woman in front of us. She scowled at him but replaced it with an overzealous smile when she turned towards me.

"So Bella, the girls and I just feel awful about what happened. We really want to make it up to you. It's just not the same without you," Heidi said, sighing dramatically and placing a well manicured hand on my arm. I narrowed my eyes. I didn't trust her.

I shook her claws off my arm and shook my head. It had been three weeks and she was just approaching me now. Never mind that I had already decided that I didn't want anything to do with her or their Bitch Club.

"Thanks for the oh-so-sincere offer, but I meant what I said. I'm done. I have better ways to spend my time," I snapped and began to walk away.

Then as if I wasn't already about to shank the bitch, she goes and adds more fire to the flame.

"Wait!"

I shouldn't have stopped. I really shouldn't have stopped, but at last I was not a smart girl. I turned and she handed me a pretty little red box.

"It's from Jake. A peace offering if you will," she said, winking and turning around, her fruity scented mahogany hair slapping my face. Bitch.

I needed new vocabulary.

"Jake?" Edward said, raising a brow.

"Um…"

_**Oh oops…  
Thanks for the well wishing guys. I do feel a lot better actually. I also plan to update again later today…or early tomorrow (depending on your time zone). So show some love.  
**_

_**-T**_


	21. Games

Paperwork

Summary: After Bella loses her memory in an accident, Edward must recount a journey with her that he has forgotten as well. Along the way they find the reasons they fell in love

Chapter 21

**July 4, 2012**

"I…uh…I don't really know how to explain this," I said, staring at the red box. Edward took it in his hand and stuffed it in his pocket.

"Later then," he offered and I could only smile. He didn't want to ruin what was supposed to be a fun day. I kissed him.

"Thank you."

"Hey Lovebirds, stop smooching and come over!" Emmett's voice boomed and we laughed as we made our way to picnic table.

"Hello, Bella, how have you been?" Esme asked as she placed a kiss on my cheek.

"Fine, thank you."

"Where's Vera?" Edward asked when he didn't spot her.

"She's with Rose," he said nodding toward a grassy clearing. Rose leaned against a tree, reading a book. Vera was surrounded my other little kids, but she wasn't interacting with any of them. As a matter of fact…

"Is she playing catch with herself?" I asked, staring as she ran to catch the ball she had thrown.

"Yup. Her favorite thing to do," Emmett said, rolling his eyes.

"That's actually kinda of sad. In a cute way," I said.

"Hey, if Bugs Bunny can play baseball all by himself then who's to judge?"

"I change my mind. You, watching Bugs Bunny, are sadder."

"Looney Tones is a quality show. Quality television. Better than that regular shit you've been watching."

"Regular Show, it's anything but," Emmett quoted suddenly, jumping into our conversation.

"Hell yeah!" I cheered, giving him a high five.

"Children, the both of ya," Edward said, shaking his head while trying to fight a smile.

"Oh, leave them be," Esme said, laughing at our silliness.

"Yeah, we're just the poor children here," Emmett said, wrapping his arms around my shoulder and shaking me.

"Et tu, brute?!" Edward said, placing a hand on his heart and shaking his head.

"Whoa, quoting Shakespeare and it's only six in the afternoon," Alice said, waddling her way over. Cindy following behind her.

"Ally!" I giggled, pulling away from Emmett and hugging her tightly.

"So I passed the Queen of the H-o-e-s on the way over here. I swear I'm gonna shank the b-i-t-c-h if she gives me one more dirty look," Alice grumbled, slurping from her large drink. Alice had a tendency of spelling out bad words if Cindy was around.

"Mama! Me play? Me play?" Cindy asked, pointing toward the field where Vera and Rose were now playing together.

"C'mon sweetheart, I'll take you," Esme said, lifting Cindy in her arms and taking her over.

"Don't ask. She's got her tubes in a twist," I muttered, rolling my eyes.

"I swear I hate her the most," Alice groaned and I snuck a look at Edward. He didn't seem to be paying attention to our conversation.

"Hey Bella, me and Edward are gonna prove our masculinity by playing a bunch of fixed games," Emmett shouted, walking toward the rows of booths the small carnival had.

"Edward and I!" Alice shouted after him. Ever the grammar Nazi.

"We'll be back soon," Edward said, placing a cheek on my kiss.

"Win me an overly stuff bear. It's the only way to prove your love," I joked.

"I'll do my best. And if I fail?"

"Obviously I leave with whoever offers me the biggest gift. 'Tis the way of our people."

"Rightly so my lady," he laughed, kissing me once more before running off to catch up to his brother.

"Gah, you guys are sickening. It's like watching it all over again?" Alice said, rolling her eyes.

"Watching what all over again?" I asked, prying my eyes away from his ass as I stared at her face. She smiled.

"You guys fall in love," she said.

I smiled back.

_**So Edward didn't give her a hard time…yet. What cuteness. **_

_**Speaking of Edward…another piece from him next.**__**  
Show some love and review. **_

_**-T**_


	22. Changes

Paperwork

Summary: After Bella loses her memory in an accident, Edward must recount a journey with her that he has forgotten as well. Along the way they find the reasons they fell in love

Chapter 22

"Alice called," I told her, walking in from the kitchen and following her into the living room. She sighed heavily, placed her bag down and sank down onto her favorite sofa. Her feet twitched as though she was ready to curl them underneath her, but she stopped herself. She used to curl her feet underneath everything she sat on. I thought it was endearing.

The girls thought it was inappropriate. She stopped. I missed it.

Instead she sat down and let her head drop back. She looked tired. I leaned against the archway of the living room, waiting for her response. When she didn't give any, I continued.

"She wants to know if you want to have lunch tomorrow," I said. Her head snapped up.

"I can't. I'm having lunch with the—"

"The girls. yeah, I know. When don't you," I bit out, hoping to keep the disdain out of my voice. "Why don't you just invite her along? You haven't seen her in weeks."

She sighed again and ran her hands through her hair.

"She'd be so uncomfortable. Besides, she doesn't get along with half of them and you know Alice, she doesn't exactly keep her feelings to herself," she said and it hurt. She used to like that about Alice. Alice was her best friend.

"Well geez, Bella could it be because she's seven months pregnant?!" I snapped. I tried to avoid the fight. I really did. But this…this wasn't Bella. This was a product of 'the girls.'

"Yeah, that too. The girls like their drink, ya know. She'd be so put out. I'm doing her a favor," she said, shrugging as though it explained it all. She laid her head back again and I could only stare in disbelief.

"She's your friend," I whispered. She didn't respond. I walked away.

I guess it was changes like that I choose to ignore.

But I didn't recognize her anymore.

_**So these don't have dates, but if you really need a time line…the changes began around two years before the accident. Roughly…**_

_**So… anyway wanna slap this Bella… I kinda do.**_

_**Also just a quick reminder…I promise this story is not angst-y. Yes there is some drama but what's a good story without a little drama. Plus if you don't know by now…I love HEAs.  
Review with your thoughts!**_

_**ps. In my time zone...it's still Thursday, so tomorrow is my parents birthday. Yes both of them. freaky and convenient, so I don't think I'll update, but I'll try. **_


	23. Box

Paperwork

Summary: After Bella loses her memory in an accident, Edward must recount a journey with her that he has forgotten as well. Along the way they find the reasons they fell in love

**July 4, 2012**

"So did you want to open this?" he asked, throwing me the red little box after I had plopped myself down on the cloud of a sofa we owned.

I played around with it in my hands. I shook my head and tossed it on the floor.

"We should get a dog?"

"Topic changer."

"Not really. If we had a dog, he could come and chew the box up and then I wouldn't have to get up to throw it away," I mumbled. Edward laughed and made his way to the sofa. He lifted my feet and took a seat, placing my legs on top of his.

"Good point. Maybe we'll invest in a dog," he said, staring at my face. I know he was waiting for me to explain. I just didn't know how.

"Can I start by saying that Heidi is a bitch?" I asked.

"You may."

"'Kay cause she's a bitch. And she had no right to do that. And I really don't know what to say. Jake was a friend, but I don't know, he had feelings for me. Angela says I didn't feel the same way about him. So the other day he sees me at the shopping market and I tell him that I'm not his friend. I don't want to be his friend anymore and that's pretty much all there is to say," I mumbled. I conveniently left out the kissing part of the story.

Maybe I should have told him right then and there, but something held me back. Why mess up my new start with something I did in the past. Something I did that I don't even remember clearly?

"That all?" he asked, his eyes gazing into mine.

This was my out. I should tell him now. Just get it out in the open.

"That's all I know," I said, feeling the bile rise in my throat from the lie. He smiled softly, but there was something in his eyes. Worry maybe?

I climbed toward him and straddled his lap.

"No one competes to you. Ever," I whispered, placing a soft kiss on his lips. He kissed me back, shaping my lips and running his tongue along my lips. His hands gripped my hips and I could feel him harden through the layers of denim. I groaned, pushing against him, feeling the insatiable fire begin in the pit of my belly.

His mouth pulled away from mine, trailing down my jaw and nibbling down my neck. I felt his teeth skim my skin, making me shiver.

"Edward!" I groaned, rubbing against him and feeling the friction send tingles down my stomach.

His hands moved up my ribs, dragging my shirt along with his hands and lifting it over my head. His mouth roamed down my collar bone, toward my chest, kissing and nipping the skin of my breast. He was driving me crazy with his light touches and simple kisses. I needed more.

"Mmm, Edward, take me to bed," I whispered in his ear, nipping his lobe lightly.

"Gladly," he growled, lifting me easily. I giggled, wrapping my legs around his waist and burying my face in his neck.

_**So sorry guys, but I had a baby shower yesterday and things got really hectic in my house. **_

_**Anyway let me know your thoughts and I'll try to get another chapter out today.**_

_**Should they get a dog? Maybe a cat? I would prefer a pig and name him bacon...  
-T**_


	24. Kids

Paperwork

Summary: After Bella loses her memory in an accident, Edward must recount a journey with her that he has forgotten as well. Along the way they find the reasons they fell in love

Chapter 24

**July 5, 2012**

When we were sated and almost near sleep, a question suddenly came to mind.

"Edward?" I whispered, almost afraid to disturb the comfortable silence that had befallen us. He grunted, nodding his head softly from where it was resting on my stomach. I gently scratched his head.

"Hmm?" he hummed, whether to acknowledge me or simply enjoying the feeling, I had no idea.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Yeah," he answered sleepily.

"Why didn't we have kids?" I asked.

"What?" he asked, his rough voice sounding a bit more awake. Okay well a lot more awake.

"Kids. Why didn't we have any?"

"What brought this on?" he asked, lifting his head from my stomach and looking at my face. I shrugged my shoulders. I didn't really know. All I did know was that when I imagined my life at 27 I always imagined being married and having kids. I had one down, why not the other?

"I don't know. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm kind of glad that I didn't forget my child or anything, but it just…I don't know, seems like the next step, you know?"

"Bella!" he groaned, rolling on his back and rubbing his eyes.

"What? I'm curious?"

"You really want to talk about this now?"

"Why not?"

"I… what do you want me to say?"

"Why is this such a big deal? Don't you want kids?"

"Do you!"

I stopped short. I didn't really have an answer for that. I mean, I always thought I would have kids because that's what's expected, but I didn't know if I really wanted kids. In fact the idea of children kind of scared the living shit out of me. Kids were messy, loud, and clingy and I didn't know if I had what it took to raise one.

But Edward did. And maybe with Edward on my side, I wouldn't be half bad.

"I don't know."

"Yeah, neither did old Bella," he mumbled and there was a coldness in his words I'd never heard before. I rolled on my elbow and looked down him. I pushed away his hair.

"What's wrong? Tell me."

"I don't know, Bella. We talked about it. We wanted kids, but we wanted to wait to we had a steady home and then you started with the girls. You wanted the party life, not the parent life. You pushed it out of the way, never wanted to talk about," he explained. I could sense the hurt in his voice.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled. He shrugged.

"It's okay. I just, I don't know, I guess I just kinda accepted the idea that we wouldn't have kids," he said.

"Did…do you want kids?" I asked.

"I— yeah, I want kids," he whispered and smiled slightly. I smiled too and leaned down to kiss him, allowing his lips to form with mine.

"Me too," I whispered when we found the strength to pull away. "Maybe, not right now, but I want kids."

The smile that overtook his features was breathtaking.

"Maybe we should practice then, huh," he joked, rolling me on my back and attacking my lips with gusto. I giggled as his hands slid up my sides, but the giggles were soon cut short by the sudden swarm of lust that fueled my belly. I moaned as his hips grinded into mine, the friction sending a flurry of pleasure down my legs.

Before I could even process what he was doing, he was moving off.

"Where are you going?" I protested, wrapping my legs around his waist. He laughed.

"Condom, Bella."

"Ew, don't say that. I hate that word," I commented, letting him loose.

"What else would you rather call it?" he laughed, reaching for the nightstand and pulling said object out. I didn't know why I hated the word, I just did. Kinda like some people hated the word moist, I hated condom. It sounded so…educational.

"I don't know."

"Rubber?"

"No. Stop." I laughed.

"Glove?"

"Edward!"

"Latex?"

"Seriously?"

"Better wear a latex, 'cause you don't want that late text, that 'I think I'm late text'."

"Are you seriously quoting that song to me? You sure you wanna get laid?" I quipped, running my hands slowly up his back.

"But it offers another one? Wrapper?" he teased, shooting me his best grin.

"Shut up and kiss me," I ordered, releasing one more giggle before grabbing his hair and pulling his head down.

"Gladly," he mumbled against my lips.

**This is just a topic they discussed. It's not meant to foreshadow her pregnancy.  
They're just getting to know each other again… old topics have to be brought up.  
**

**So see the button below….press it and share your thoughts…  
Know any other words for condom?  
-T**


	25. Vera

Paperwork

Summary: After Bella loses her memory in an accident, Edward must recount a journey with her that he has forgotten as well. Along the way they find the reasons they fell in love

Chapter 25

**July 6, 2012**

"Please Bella! I'm begging!" Rosalie said, already walking through the door and dumping the diaper bag down on the hall floor.

"But Edward's not even here? He's going to be in meetings all day!" I said, my voice rising in a bit of a panic.

"Bella! Please. This could mean a promotion. Vera loves you anyway," she said, setting down the dark haired toddler who waddled her way into the living room.

"Rosalie… I don't know. I can't…I've never changed a diaper before. I don't know how to do this," I whimpered, tugging my hand through my hair.

"You'll do fine. You've changed her plenty of times, you just don't remember. Thanks," she said, placing a kiss on my cheek and heading out the door.

"Don't be surprised if she's not in one piece!"

"Love you!" she shouted over her shoulder. Bitch. I slammed the door and turned around.

"Bye Mommy. Bye!" Vera mumbled, waving her hand and laughing at her own words. I smiled.

"C'mere cutie," I called, holding out my arms and watched her wobble into them.

"Bewa. Bewa," she sang in her own little voice, tugging at my pony tail. I kissed her cheek. We would be okay.

I hoped.

::*::

"I hope this doesn't break any child laws," I mumbled, a clip of Cole Sprouse and Adam Sandler playing in my mind as I gave the small child a bath.

In just a matter of two short hours, she managed to get spaghetti-o's all over the kitchen floor, herself, and me. Plus she found chocolate from who knows where, smudged her mouth and clothes and when I took her upstairs to look for a movie to watch, she found my small make up collection and rubbed it all over her face and bathroom sink.

When I found her all she had to offer was: "Me share?"

For a one and a half-year-old, this girl was trouble.

She giggled brightly and splashed water, soaking my face and t-shirt.

"You are so lucky you're cute or else I think I'd be tempted to drown you," I grumbled. She offered a toothy smile and splashed me again. "Little bugger!"

I tickled her side and she squirmed. Her wet soapy body managed to slip through my fingers and on the other side of the tub. She grabbed the cup I had given her and poured a it all over my head. I gasped, sputtering water and wiping it away from face.

She broke into squeals of laughter so loud I was sure she'd break the glass. I couldn't help laugh along with her.

"Oh you think that's funny huh? Getting Aunty Bewa all wet?!" I screeched, my finger reaching out and lifting her out of the tub. She squirmed and giggled, but I made sure to hold on tight as I reached for a fluffy towel and wrapped her small form in it.

I carried her into the bedroom where her clean clothes were waiting. Rose had packed three changes of clothes. Three! Bitch was well aware of just how messy her daughter was and didn't even bother to warn me. I plopped Vera on the bed, where she bounced and tried to crawl away from me.

Unfortunately for her, the towel wrapped around her limps, preventing her movements and allowing me to reach out and grab her once more. She was so full of energy. Quickly, so she wouldn't put up much of a fuss, I changed her and picked her up. I took her downstairs and toward the kitchen.

The little girl loved to eat.

"Cookie?" she asked, when I walked into the kitchen. I grimaced at the mess that was my beautiful kitchen. I sat her on a chair and sighed.

"Okay, Cookie for Vera!" I said and reached into the cupboard, grabbing the box and giving her one. She sat quietly and munched on her treat while I started cleaning the kitchen. When she was done and I was only halfway into cleaning the floor, she came up and patted my shoulder.

I looked. Her two forefingers grabbed the corners of her mouth and pulled. She stuck her tongue out of her enlarged mouth and made grunting noises. I giggled at her silly face.

However, this was not the reaction she was looking for. She did it again and wiggled her tongue. I tried not to laugh, but it was too cute.

She stopped and screamed in frustration.

"Me! Me!"

Oh. She was trying to tell me something.

"What is it girl? Is Timmy stuck in the well?" I joked at her serious face.

"Me!" she screamed again.

"You what?" I asked.

"Me!" she screamed again, tears beginning to leak out of her eyes.

"I'm sorry baby, I don't know what you want!"

And then all hell broke loose.

"ME! ME!" she screamed, throwing her body on the ground and letting ear piercing yells come out of her mouth. I stared at her, mouth agape. Was she serious right now? I didn't know what she wanted and she throws a tantrum.

Just a minute ago she was fine and munching on cookies. Where did it go wrong?

"Ssh, angel, it's okay. What's wrong?" I asked soothingly or at least what I hoped was soothingly. I tried to grab her from the ground, but she thrashed her legs and arms, kicking and hitting me until I let her go.

She cried on the ground, screaming 'me' over and over again.

What the hell was me?! I wanted to lie down and cry with her. I didn't understand what she wanted.

Instead I sat back on my heels and kept telling her I was sorry. This was going horribly.

"What in the name of all that is holy?" Edward's confused voice traveled through from the hall. Both of our heads snapped up as he walked into the kitchen, home for his lunch break.

His brows shot up as he took in the sight. Immediately Vera got up and waddled her way over to her uncle.

He dropped his messenger bag and scooped her up in his arms.

"Hey princess," he cooed, kissing her cheek. She buried her head into his neck and sucked her finger. I pulled my heels out and rested on my ass. That was thoroughly exhausting.

"I don't know what happened. She was fine and then she makes this face and started screaming and I don't know how to speak Vera and she was crying and yelling and…" I stopped before I broke into tears.

One crying baby was enough.

"What do you want, hun?" he asked the baby on his shoulder. She lifted her head and made the same face, widening her wide eyes and tilting her head.

"Okay, let's go," he said, walking toward the hall. I heard him climb the steps and then nothing. I looked down at the mess and finished cleaning it up.

I was just finishing wiping the counter when Edward came back in the room.

"She just wanted to watch Despicable Me. It's her favorite," he said, sighing before clearing the rest of the table.

"That's all she wanted," I gasped, dropping the rag and resting on the edge.

"Yeah? Plus she's tired. I'm sure she'll knock out in a mi—" he didn't even get to finish his sentence before I burst into tears.

"T-that was a-all she w-wanted. To w-watch a m-m-movie!" I stuttered through my tears.

"Ssh, it's okay," he tried to soothe me, walking closer and wrapping his arms around me.

Some part of my mind knew I was being irrational but at the same time I couldn't stop the tears from flowing.

"Bella, love, what's this really about?" Edward asked, pulling back and taking my face in his hands. He used his thumbs to wipe away the tears currently strolling down my cheeks.

"I was so convinced I was ready to be a parent, but I can't even take care of our niece. What am I going to do when I'm alone with a baby that can't even talk," I sobbed, feeling the fresh flow of hot tears and the prickle near my nose.

"Oh, Bella, you silly beautiful girl. It was unfair of Rose to leave Vera with you alone, but you did wonderfully. You can't help that she's cranky and tired. You don't know her signs or clues because you don't remember. Yes, having a child is hard, but you won't be alone and you'll learn. You don't need to worry about it right now. No one's forcing a baby, okay?"

His eyes stared right into mine and I could feel my worries melt. He was right. I was being silly.

"I'm sorry, I don't know what's going on with me," I mumbled. He lifted my chin and kissed me.

"It's okay. I'm proud. You managed to hold the fort for a whole…two hours. Wow!"

I slapped his shoulder at his teasing.

"Shut up."

"Make me!"

"Gladly."

_**So she got some alone time with baby Vera. My two-year-old niece is a tornado. Pretty sure most 2 yr olds are, so if you have one or had to take care of one…I'm sorry. **_

_**Anyway your reviews were thoroughly amusing last chapter. I definitely learned some great names for Condom. It was great. **_

_**So drop some reviews and let me know your thoughts. Another update tomorrow. **_

_**-T**_


	26. Weak

Paperwork

Summary: After Bella loses her memory in an accident, Edward must recount a journey with her that he has forgotten as well. Along the way they find the reasons they fell in love

Chapter 26

"Are you shittin' me right now? She couldn't even fucking call me herself?" Alice said her voice calm in silent anger. She wasn't yelling. She was just tired. Disappointed.

"She was…busy. She asked if you wanted to reschedule." I asked. I tried to keep my voice monotone. I tried to stay unattached. I didn't want her to hurt. I didn't want to make this call, but Alice deserved at least this much.

Alice laughed bitterly and I could imagine her shaking her head.

"No. You know what, Edward. Tell her I'm done. We're done. I'm sick of this and I'm not gonna wait around for her to pencil me in her life. Obviously I'm not a priority. I can't be the only one making an effort. Fuck her," Alice shouted. I breathed heavily. I tried to calm myself.

This hurt. Alice was my friend as well. She and I clicked the very first day we met. I had been the best man at her wedding. We we're a unit. A family. Bella was slowly tearing it apart.

"I'm sorry you feel that way," I whispered, feeling like an ass. Feeling used and tired.

"Edward. I love you. Always and even if I can't stand her right now, you're still my friend. If you need me, you call me. I love her, Edward. I do, but I'm starting my family and if she doesn't want to be a part of it, I have to let her go. I can't keep waiting that one day she'll accept my offer and I can't keep putting myself out there. I don't know how you do it. You're much stronger than I am." I could hear the cracks in her voice as she cried over the phone. I felt it in my chest.

I wanted to say something, but there was nothing _to_ say. I heard her take a breath and then the dial tone as she disconnected the call. I placed the phone on the desk and rested my head on my hand.

I knew what she meant.

I was waiting. I was hoping. I wanted my Bella back. She was there. I could see it, but everyday she was hiding more and more.

Alice was wrong. I was not strong. If I were strong, I would walk away.

I was weak. I was in love.

_**So things weren't so perfect, but I think we all knew this. **_

_**Just a tidbit of life before the accident. I think it's interesting to see everyone's theories. Some of you get really close but no one has it exactly right.  
Review for me. Please. :)**_

_**-T**_


	27. Slowly

Paperwork

Summary: After Bella loses her memory in an accident, Edward must recount a journey with her that he has forgotten as well. Along the way they find the reasons they fell in love

Chapter 27: Slowly

**July 8, 2012**

They started slowly.

Two days after I had baby sat Vera, I woke up, went about my routine and then went into my closet. I opened my lap top and typed the password without a problem. Before I knew it was opening a work file and trying to access some paperwork that needed to be finished before the summer was over.

I sat back for a minute, my fingers hovering over the keys in shocked. I couldn't really believe that I remembered. It felt like it had always been there, but I knew it hadn't. I felt relieved, but at the same time, I was worried.

I was doing just fine without my memories. My memories had made me this distant person who I didn't recognize.

I decided not to bring it up with Edward. I really didn't want him to know that I was remembering more. It seemed each time I did, he would get a strange look on his face. Almost…like fear?

And that alone made me very scared.

_**So we are getting closer to the big reveal. Anyway another chapter should be posted later today, but in the mean time please review!**_

_**Also sorry for the lack of update yesterday. It was a busy day and I hope that everyone's Fourth was as wonderful as mine. (Ya know if you celebrate it, but even if you didn't….I still hope you had a wonderful regular fourth.)**_

_**-T**_


	28. Arguements

Paperwork

Summary: After Bella loses her memory in an accident, Edward must recount a journey with her that he has forgotten as well. Along the way they find the reasons they fell in love

Chapter 28

**July 8, 2012**

"So I heard you had quite the adventure with my little troublemaker," Emmett joked, laughing as I walked toward the back patio. I rolled my eyes and bumped his shoulder as I passed him to take a seat.

"Well, let's just say she definitely takes after her father," I quipped. Rosalie snorted a laugh.

"You can say that again. I swear those two together are something else. Did you know I actually got a call from her preschool on parent night because Emmett was acting up?"

I laughed openly as Emmett shrugged and flipped over a burger he was grilling.

"What did he do?"

"Vera told him that someone bit her and he told her to bite him back," Rosalie said, rolling her eyes and taking a swig of the beer in front of her. I giggled.

"The bugger put his hands on my baby girl!"

"What are you gonna do when she starts dating?" I asked.

"Oh, she already knows. No boys until she's like…until I'm dead," he said nonchalantly.

"Don't be ridiculous. If she's anything like you expect the boys to roll in when she's 13," I mumbled, rolling my eyes at his silly statement.

"That's what I keep telling him." Rosalie said, raising a brow. Emmett tried to come up with a witty comeback, but Rosalie was having none of it.

I didn't get to hear the rest of the conversation, for at that moment I looked up to find Edward staring at me. His brows raised in question.

I quickly ran through the words I had just spoken. I mentioned Emmett's dating history, but nothing too incriminating. I hadn't gone to school with Emmett, but in high school he had quite the reputation. One that followed Edward but Edward never did live up to it. In high school, Edward had dated a total of two girls. One had been semi-serious. They dated for a year or so before it went sour.

The other barely lasted three months. He took her to senior prom and that was the end of it.

Edward decided not to mention my comment and instead walked over and took a seat.

I would have to be careful with what I let slip. I didn't remember everything, but I didn't want share the little things I did remember. I just wasn't ready to have that conversation.

"Yes, well, I think we can all agree Bella did very well considering the circumstances," Edward said, steering Emmett and Rosalie away from their mini argument. Rosalie immediately looked chagrined. It was not an expression she wore well. Rosalie wore confidence like a second skin.

"I really am sorry about that Bella, but I had no one else. Esme was gone and Emmett was at work and I did—"

"Hey, it's okay. Don't let him make you feel bad," I said, slapping Edward. He rolled his eyes and draped his arm around my chair.

"How did everything work out at the office?" Edward asked.

Immediately Rosalie perked up and began explaining how well the meeting had gone. I was glad I could help, even if it had caused me a slight breakdown.

"You really didn't have to make her apologize," I said, later that evening as Edward drove us home.

"I didn't make her apologize. I just pointed out how badly she handled the situation."

"Yes, but you knew she was in a bind. She needed a babysitter. I'm family. I was happy to do it."

"I understand, but you obviously weren't prepared to handle—"

"I handled it fine. Yes, I was thrown for a loop with the movie, but after she took her nap I did it perfectly fine. All on my own!" I argued.

"Yes. You did. Can we not fight?" he asked, sighing and running a hand through his hair. I huffed but let the subject drop.

I looked out the window and remained silent the rest of the ride. I didn't want to fight with Edward, but it bothered me how easily he let me win a subject. It was almost like he was afraid of arguing with me. It bothered me and caused an uneasy feeling in my gut.

I couldn't help but feel Edward and I had our fair share of arguments in the past. I just didn't remember them.

We pulled into the driveway and Edward shut off the car. Before I could get out he grabbed my hand and forced me to look at him.

"Are we okay?" he asked, his bright eyes filled with concern. I couldn't help but smile. I wanted to ease his stress.

"We're okay," I said, leaning over and placing a soft kiss on his lips.

We were okay. For now, anyway.

_**Wow you guys are pretty good at your predictions. No one has it exactly right, but seems like everyone is getting closer. I know everyone is pretty anxious to find out. Promise it's getting closer. **_

_**Review and share your thoughts. I love to read them!  
Update tomorrow. **_

_**-T**_


	29. Fever

Paperwork

Summary: After Bella loses her memory in an accident, Edward must recount a journey with her that he has forgotten as well. Along the way they find the reasons they fell in love

Chapter 29

**July 9, 2012**

Monday morning found me on the toilet. I was dying. I was going to die. I was going to throw up my stomach and die of some weird unknown disease where people puke their internal organs.

Edward had left for a meeting earlier in the morning and my sickness hadn't found me until I woke two hours later.

I decided I was never leaving the toilet. Every time I had even attempted to get back into bed, my stomach churned and I dry heaved, my stomach convulsing into it was physically painful.

I had nothing left in me, but my body decided it was still going to try to purge my stomach.

I gasped for air, hanging on the toilet for dear life. I could feel cold sweet begin to form on my temple. I was running a fever.

"Bella?" That was Edward. I tried to answer, but I couldn't. I was too exhausted. "Bella!"

I groaned in response, but the effort forced my stomach to convulse again. Edward found me then.

"Bella! Are you okay?" he asked, running over and pushing my hair away from my face. I was glad there was nothing coming out of me. I didn't want Edward to see me that way, vows be damned.

"Sick," I whimpered when I could talk again. He lifted me easily and I curled into his body. He felt amazingly cool, but that could be because I was too warm. He laid me in bed and touched my forehead.

"You're running a fever. You're vomiting. Do you have any headaches?" he asked. I shook my head and closed my eyes.

"Sore throat?"

"No."

"Have you taken any medication?" he asked. I shook my head again.

He left the bedroom and I drifted off to sleep.

When he came back he made me take two aspirin and drink a glass of ginger-ale.

The first day was the worst. I slept. I only woke to take medication and drink the ginger-ale Edward gave me. Occasionally he would let me drink watered down Gatorade to keep my sugar up. It didn't matter, the juice didn't sit well and I would throw it up.

The second day was slightly better. I was able to eat soft foods without getting too sick. I still wasn't able to hold much down and my appetite was completely gone.

Edward took care of me the entire time. He cooked for me, patted me with a cool cloth when my fever was too high and made sure I was taking my medication.

If I hadn't already loved this man, I would have been pushed over the edge.

_**Just meant to be a snippet of their life. Soon Edward will start getting to grittier details.  
Share your thoughts. I love reading them!  
-T**_

_**ps. Sorry guys, fanfiction bugged out on me. Sorry for reposting 28 instead of giving this one. **_


	30. Done

Paperwork

Summary: After Bella loses her memory in an accident, Edward must recount a journey with her that he has forgotten as well. Along the way they find the reasons they fell in love

**Chapter 30**

She was trying to be quiet. But she was still clumsy as fuck. I heard her slam the car door. I heard her fight with her keys. Heard her 'light' footsteps as she climbed up the steps. When she reach the bedroom, her stealth picked up a bit more. Managed to slip into the room, take her jeans off, and slide into the bed without making a sound. But I was up. I was up because it was almost two a.m.

"It's two in the morning," I said, nonchalantly. I didn't bother to move the arm that was draped across my eyes. I felt as she jumped out of the bed.

"Jesus Christ! You fucking scared me," she yelled, switching on the light on the night stand.

"I scared you. _I_ scared _you_," I shouted, sitting up and pulling the covers off as I stood and turned to face her. "It's two in the fucking morning and I haven't heard from you since ten. What the fuck Bella! What the fuck do you think that's done to me? The least you could have fucking done was call, or text, or something!"

"I told you I was going out with—"

"The girls. Yeah. I know. When aren't you out with the girls? The girls are your life now! How could I forget?!"

"What the fuck is wrong with you. I can go out if I want. I'm not sixteen and you're not my father!"

"No. I'm your husband and I haven't seen you in a week and the least you could have fucking done was call me!"

"Seriously, you're acting like a child," she said indignantly, crossing her arms and jutting out her hip. I barked out a bitter laugh.

"I'm acting like a child. Oh, that's rich. You're acting like a fucking teenager. I'm your husband and if you want to act like your single then please, do me the fucking favor and cut me loose because for some unfathomable reason I can't be the one to do it!" I shouted. I was angry. I was upset. I was fed up.

"Oh, please. Spare me the bullshit. I was hanging with the girls. I was fine," she said, rolling her eyes.

"I really hope their worth losing everything you cared about," I whispered.

"I haven't lost anything."

"Oh yeah, what about Alice. When was the last time you talked to her? Let me help, it's been about a month and you haven't even noticed."

"Alice is just hormonal right now. She'll—"

"No. No, she won't get over it. She's done with you Bella. She doesn't want anything to do with you and I'm just starting to see why," I snapped and walked out the bedroom, slamming the door behind me.

_**Things were far from perfect between them. Let me know your thoughts. Possible update later today. **_

_**-T**_

_**Ps. Sorry guys, real life has been crazy. My sister went into labor and I've been in and out of the hospital with her for the past two days. No baby yet. It's a complicated story, but all is going well. **_


	31. Baby

Paperwork

Summary: After Bella loses her memory in an accident, Edward must recount a journey with her that he has forgotten as well. Along the way they find the reasons they fell in love

Chapter 31: Baby

**July 16, 2012**

"What the fuck!" I groaned as a pillow hit my face.

"Get your lazy ass up!" Alice shouted, plopping herself next to me.

"Why?"

"You've been in bed for a week!"

"I was sick for five of those days! Leave me the fuck alone!" I groaned and rolled over.

"Bella, spend time with me!"

She rolled on top of me and because she was eight months pregnant I could not retaliate.

"You don't fight fair!" I groaned, trying to roll away from her. She laughed.

"Resistance is futile," she quoted, laughing evilly. I let my face fall onto Edward's pillow and took a big inhale. Immediately his smell calmed me. I missed him already. He had taken the week off to take care of me, but after some persistence that I would be fine, I convinced him to get back to work. He had pushed off several meetings with a few of the other composers he worked with.

"You don't even like Star Trek," I commented.

"Is that where it's from? I've always wondered," she mused, sitting off of me and I snorted.

"Seriously?" I questioned, sitting up and pushing my hair away from my face. She rolled her pretty blue eyes.

"Don't you Meredith me. I am a non geek. You know this already. I've never even seen Star Wars…or Star Track or whatever…"

"Star Trek, Alice," I said automatically correcting her. Why was I correcting her? Why did I even know?

And then it suddenly hit me. It was a memory. I knew because I watched it with Edward who was a fan of both. I'd never even seen it before I met him, but suddenly I knew all about it.

I remembered wanting to impress him badly and though I had no interest in watching the famous sci-fi series, I spent a weekend on a couch. I still wasn't a fan, but I liked them because of him. Sorta like he liked Grey's for me.

I smiled and lay back on the pillow. Those memories were easier to let myself fall into.

I didn't remember a lot. Just small memories that made their way into my mind when I least expected it. I remembered things from work or how I picked out my favorite curtains in the kitchen.

Sometimes Edward would say something and an anxious wave would wash over my body, almost like a memory tried to come to the forefront of my mind. I did not let myself fall into those. I wasn't ready.

I knew I would have to sit down and talk to Edward.

"So do you know what you had?" Alice asked, slapping my ass. I groaned and rolled off the bed, making my way into the washroom.

"Carlisle says it was the flu," I called, turning on the sink to wash my face and mouth.

"Bella!" Alice called a tinge of desperation in her voice. I rinsed my mouth and ran out the bathroom. Her eyes were wide and filled with an anxious excitement.

It was then I noticed the damp spot on her jeans and in my bed.

My first thought was gross.

My second was holy shit.

"A-Alice did you just…" I couldn't even think of the words to say.

"My water just broke," she said, wobbling her way off the bed.

"W-what do we do?" I asked, feeling panicked. First I was forced to watch a tornado toddler and now I was witness to my best friend's labor.

"Um, I need to go home—" her words were cut off as she bit her lip and scrunched her eyes, sending my anxiety to a whole new level.

"Alice, are you alright?" I asked.

"I'm fine. Just a contraction. C'mon let's go before they get any worse," Alice said, hobbling her way out of my room.

I spared a glance at my sheets and then followed her out the door.

I guess we were having a baby.

_**So yesterday my sister pulled an Alice on me. (not that she broke her water bag on my bed. yuck) But she did get admitted to the hospital and early this morning my newest baby nephew was born. Quite the story. **_

_**So there is a lot of hate on Bella. Which I understand, completely. But things will clear up on that as well later on. **_

_**Also people think both Edward and Alice forgave Bella way too easily. Which in a sense is true. But for Alice, Bella is her very best friend. Sometimes it can seem impossible to stay mad at someone who you desperately want back in your life. Also Bella doesn't really remember what she did wrong. She doesn't have the memories Edward is showing you guys. **_

_**As for Edward forgiving Bella, well, he couldn't exactly be mad at her when her life was flipped upside down and he was expected to help her through it. **_

_**Anyway…that's my take on it; you are all entitled to your own opinions. I love reading them, so review in the mean time, update later today. **_

_**-T. **_


	32. Waiting

Paperwork

Summary: After Bella loses her memory in an accident, Edward must recount a journey with her that he has forgotten as well. Along the way they find the reasons they fell in love

Chapter 32

I passed her down the hall. She didn't say anything.

We couldn't talk unless we were yelling. We did nothing but yell and fight. I didn't want to be around her.

I didn't even like her anymore.

But I loved her.

I was unhappy and sad.

I missed her and she lived with me. I saw her every day, but it wasn't her. Not really. It wasn't the person I wanted.

How could you feel so alone with someone you loved? How could you spend a night beside them but feel empty inside?

Sometimes, when I least expected it, I'd walk in and catch her watching the stupid doctor show, laughing or crying. Those were my favorite because I could see my Bella in her. It felt familiar and I didn't feel like she was a stranger.

But other times, when she made excuses not to see my parents or hers I couldn't figure out why I was still here.

Why were we pushing something when it clearly wasn't working?

What were we waiting for?


	33. Breathtaking

Paperwork

Summary: After Bella loses her memory in an accident, Edward must recount a journey with her that he has forgotten as well. Along the way they find the reasons they fell in love

Chapter 33

**July 16, 2012**

"Oh, fuck this sucks," Alice moaned, clutching the bar of the bed beside her. Alice was all for going the natural route with her delivery. All I could say after watching her suffer for five hours was that I wanted to be doped up on drugs.

Lots and lots of pain relieving drugs.

"It's okay, hon. Breathe, it's alright," Jasper coached from beside her.

"Don't fucking tell me what to do! Are you in labor right now?!" she growled. I sent Jasper a sympathetic smile. She had been like that for the past hour as the contractions grew worse.

When it had passed, she slumped back down on the bed, gasping. Her face was covered in a light sheen of sweat and she looked exhausted.

"Alright, mama. We're going to check how far along you are," the nurse said, closing the curtain around the door. Alice sighed and rolled on her back. I stood with her, pushing her hair out her face while Jasper took a seat on the sofa.

Alice grabbed my hand as the nurse checked her and squeezed it tight. Shit, that hurt.

"Okay. Looks like it's go time," the nurse said, smiling widely. I kissed Alice's forehead.

"Okay, looks like that's my cue to go. You're gonna do great," I said. Alice wrapped her claw like hand around my forearm and squeezed. I winced.

"No, Bella. I want you here. Please stay. Please," she begged, her bright blue eyes filled with pain. How could I resist her?

"Are you sure?" I asked, feeling my throat close with emotion.

"Yes, please," she said and I felt the tears slide down my cheeks.

The next twenty minutes were not something I could honestly describe as beautiful. It was in fact horrifying and brought me back to my sophomore year of health class.

However, there was something breathtaking about it. An amazing process that when done, brought a crying little life into the world.

Covered in blood and other fluids, the baby was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. One gasp of air and she filled the room with her strong cries of life.

And although it was a beautiful moment and I was so grateful to witness it, I couldn't help but feel a resounding sadness as I held the newborn baby girl.

_**Wow I love reading some of your guy's theories. Some are like almost exactly on point and some are way off, but I like to see how everyone develops their own stories. **_

_**So review and share your wonderful thought, please. **_

_**-T.T**_

_**Ps. So I really am being the aunt of the year (my modesty is astounding, ha-ha) by babysitting my sister's other four kids while she is in the hospital with the new baby. So I really have a hectic schedule as all of them are under the age of 12. Forgive my erratic updates. **_


	34. Yes

Paperwork

Summary: After Bella loses her memory in an accident, Edward must recount a journey with her that he has forgotten as well. Along the way they find the reasons they fell in love

Chapter 34: Yes

**July 18, 2012**

"I feel like I don't take you out nearly enough," Edward said, smiling as he held my hand. I laughed.

"You do fine. Where are you taking me anyway?" I asked, almost recognizing the streets we drove through. I sat up straighter when I realized I did recognize the streets.

"I just want to help jog your memory," he said, pulling into a Starbucks parking lot.

"This is the shop I met you in," I said, smiling. I loved how he knew I didn't need a fancy dinner. The little things were the most romantic to me.

"It is. Would you like a coffee? Preferably iced?" he joked and I couldn't help but laugh.

"I would love nothing more but a coffee," I said, as he opened my door. He helped me out and held my hand as we walked toward the coffee shop.

Edward and I had just come from the hospital. Alice and the new baby girl were doing great and watching Edward hold the tiny newborn did things to me that I couldn't really explain. I knew when the time came; he would be an amazing father.

However, I couldn't shake the feeling that planted itself deep in my gut when I held the baby. Perhaps a memory I wasn't ready to explore. I just couldn't explain why I felt so sad.

Maybe I was just upset that I hadn't been able to share the same experience with Cindy. Maybe I was regretting not being there. I had made some huge mistakes in my past, but I was grateful that I was allowed to make up for them. I truly felt Alice's forgiveness when she begged me to stay in that delivery room.

I knew whatever hurdles we had gone through in the past were exactly that. The past.

Edward opened the doors of the coffee shop and I walked into the air conditioned shop and stopped dead in my tracks.

"_Edward, it isn't even open," I said, rolling my eyes as we walked by the familiar shop._

"_We can check."_

"_We stop by here every morning. I think I know the hours—" I trailed off when I saw the store doors were propped open. The barista behind the counter smiled and waved. I waved back, confused about what was happening. _

_Edward placed his hand on the palm of my back and pushed me forward. I let him lead, unsure about whether we were actually allowed in the store. I gasped as I took in the sight before me. _

_The shop lights were dimmed. A single candle was on every table, shadows playing in the soft candle glow. A song I had adored for years slowly played in the background._

_Suddenly Edward walked past me, toward the barista. She smiled and handed him a tall cup. He had thanked her and turned back to me. _

"_Why does she have your order ready…What is going on?" I asked. Were they preparing for something? Were we in the way? I turned toward the door, wondering if we should leave. _

"_Calm down, Bella. I need to ask you something," Edward whispered, taking my hand and pulling me closer. _

_I turned to see his nervous expression, the bright eyes I had fallen in love with filled with so much emotion. I couldn't decide if I was really dense or simply did not expect it, but my mind went blank when he knelt down on one knee. _

_My breath stuttered as I took in the sight. My hands had shook and I could barely breathe._

_I didn't know if I was ready for this. I didn't know if this was something I even wanted. We had been dating for a year. Wasn't that too soon?_

_And yet, as he knelt before me I couldn't help but go over every amazing memory I had of us within that year. I was in love with this man before me. I could not, nor would I, deny that. I just didn't know if we were ready for this. _

_He held up the cup and opened it like he would a ring box and I giggled in shock. The inside was filled, with what I assumed (and later found out) was foam. It was coffee brown, with white stenciling surrounding a tiny little slot._

_In the little stood a diamond ring. It was gorgeous and glittered beautifully in the candle light. _

"_Isabella Marie Swan, when I was seventeen I met a girl who scared the life out of me. I couldn't understand why I was so attracted to her. I couldn't understand why I couldn't speak to her. I couldn't understand why she scared me so much. I realize now, why I couldn't get close to her. She would have come into my life like a whirlwind. I would have been so enraptured by her; I would have fallen so in love with her I wouldn't know what to do. Meeting her again three years later did not help. She still shook up my world and I still fell just as hard. Except…now I know what to do. Will you marry me?"_

_I had my doubts. I had my fears. _

_But in that moment I wanted nothing more than to say…_

"_Yes."_

"You proposed here," I whispered

_**Sorry for the late update guys. Things are still a little crazy and my computer has been really wonky.  
Anyway drop a review and let me know your thoughts. I love reading them and appreciate your insight. **_

_**-TT**_


	35. Trap

Paperwork

Summary: After Bella loses her memory in an accident, Edward must recount a journey with her that he has forgotten as well. Along the way they find the reasons they fell in love

Chapter 35: Trap

**May 27, 2012**

Out of all 'the girls'. I hated her the most.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, doing nothing to stop the venom that flowed through my voice. I could almost taste the bitterness of the words. She only smiled, making her red lips smooth and shiny across her bright teeth.

She rolled her honey eyes and flipped her mahogany hair.

"Didn't your mother teach you manners?" she purred in her cat like voice. I almost wished it was high and squeaky, but of course it matched her. Her wavy hair, bright eyes, curvy body. God wouldn't misplace the voice.

Heidi was manipulative, sneaky, and bitchy. She was smart and witty and knew how to play my wife more than any other of the girls. I hated her.

The most.

She walked past me; sending her scent through my nose and making me want to cough. She smelled too sweet. Like a poisonous flower.

"Is Bella home?" she asked, slinking her body into the living room. I followed behind her.

"No. She went out with the girls," I said, feeling a gnawing sort of awareness start to creep up. Heidi was usually part of the girls. Something she didn't let slip by me as she widened her eyes and blinked, trying to look innocent. She failed.

Heidi was anything but innocent.

"Oh, really? We didn't have plans today," she said, twirling a stray hair with her manicured finger.

I didn't answer. I stared.

"Strange, don't you think?" she asked, taking a seat on the couch and crossing her legs. She gently placed her hands on her knee and stared at me. I crossed my arms.

"Perhaps they made plans without you. I wouldn't blame them," I growled. She only giggled.

"Oh, Edward, you're so hateful. It's not good for you," she said. Something was wrong.

Heidi was playing me. I wasn't so much a fool that I couldn't recognize it, but I was foolish enough to fall for it.

"Where is she?" I asked. She only smiled.

I felt like I was being led into a trap.

_**People assumed Heidi played a bigger part in the story and you were right she does. Wonder where she's gonna take him?**_

_**Thanks so much for the support and reviews guys. It's really encouraging. **_

_**-T**_


	36. Nightmare

**Paperwork**

**Summary:** After Bella loses her memory in an accident, Edward must recount a journey with her that he has forgotten as well. Along the way they find the reasons they fell in love

Chapter 36: Nightmare

**July 20, 2012**

I laid in bed, watching my husband come out the bathroom. He fixed his tie and sent a smile my way. It did things to me that I couldn't explained.

"Don't you look handsome," I purred, sitting up and pulling on his tie as he neared me. He bent and placed a soft kiss on my lips, but I couldn't let him up that easy. I wrapped my arms around his neck, deepening the kiss. He groaned as his mouth opened against mine, sucking my lip into his mouth.

I wanted him.

I couldn't explain it, but lately I wanted him nonstop. I wanted his mouth on mine, trailing heated kisses down my skin. I wanted those long fingers playing patterns on my skin and playing me so well I could barely remember my name.

"Mmm, Bella, I can't," he groaned, pulling away and hooking my arms. I pouted and he kissed me again.

"Trust me, there is nothing I want more than to lie right back down on this bed with you, but this meeting is important," he said, caressing my cheek.

I knew it was important. If all went well his music could be the background soundtrack to ABC's newest series. He was over the moon about it. I was over the moon about it.

His music was finally getting somewhere. Not to mention the paycheck would have us splurging on the finer things for a while.

"Are you sure you rather not cuddle in bed with your very willing, very sexy wife," I breathed, climbing on my knees and curling my arms around his neck again. He groaned. I wasn't making this easy on him, I knew this, but I couldn't help it.

"You are insatiable lately," he moaned, trailing kisses down my neck. I could only hum.

"Don't act like your aren't enjoying it," I moaned as his lips found my earlobe.

"No, I can assure you. I've loved every minute of it. However, I still have to go to this meeting," he said, pulling away once more. I huffed, but let him go.

"I'll see you later tonight. Wish me luck," he said, standing from the bed and adjusting his tie. He grabbed his jacket out the closet and headed toward the door.

"You'll knock their sock offs," I said, lying back on the bed.

"Thanks, babe. I love you," he called.

"Love you," I shouted after him.

I smiled. He would do amazing, like he always did.

But now I was left with nothing to do on a Friday afternoon. I could call Alice.

As I lay in bed, I felt a slight cramp. Maybe spending the day in bed wouldn't be so bad. The cramp hit again, spreading toward my lower back. I curled in bed, shifting to get into a more comfortable position.

I usually got cramps before my period, but this was not usual. There was something about this pain.

Suddenly a horrible cramp seemed to wrap itself around my abdomen, squeezing so tightly I felt my breath leave my lungs. I couldn't move as I curled into myself.

I could barely breathe. The pain was immobilizing. What the hell was this?

My thighs were wet and I knew something was horribly wrong. I crawled off the bed and made my way into the bathroom, stumbling and crying all the way over. When I finally made my way in, I sat on the toilet.

I pulled my panties down and gasped. There was so much blood. Way more blood than I was used to. My period was usually much lighter.

Why was there so much blood? My throat was tight with anxiety and I could barely gasp a breath. I sat on the toilet as another horrible cramping pain wrapped itself around my midsection.

Somehow I knew what this was. I shouldn't have known. I had no prior experience and no reason to believe it could happen, but it was happening.

A sort of eerie woman's intuition.

I was miscarrying.

...

I woke with a start. A cold sweat covering my heated skin.

I couldn't shake off the dream. There was something about it that just managed to hit way too close to home. I pulled off the covers and quietly made my way out the bedroom, making sure I didn't wake Edward.

I walked into the kitchen and poured myself a glass of water.

There was something about that dream. Something too real.

The glass slipped out my hand and bounced on the floor, sending droplets of lukewarm water on my leg.

Then it hit me.

It wasn't a dream at all.

It was a memory.

* * *

_**Okay so some of you saw this coming. When I first posted this story it was not complete. This chapter had not been written, though I was leaning toward this, I wasn't sure it was where I wanted to go. Which is why I said there wasn't angst in this story. However I felt like this was the best way to go. So I apologize to those who did not want/were not prepared for this type of bomb. I promise it won't get too bad. **_

_**Share your thoughts. Did you see this coming? **_

_**I know that I haven't updated in a while and the reason for that is because my computer has contracted a virus. I can't promise an update everyday, but I will update whenever I can get my hands on a computer that has internet connection. Which, hopefully, is often. **_


	37. Aftershock

Chapter 36

**June 20, 2012**

Edward found me on the kitchen floor, wrapped around myself, continuous tears flowing down my cheeks.

"Bella!" he shouted, flipping the lights. I buried my face into my knees, feeling my body shake with the sobs that tore through my chest. I felt like I couldn't breathe. I couldn't shake the memory from my mind.

It was so heartbreakingly sad. It didn't feel fair or right.

I remembered cleaning the mess, almost in a state of shock. I kept it from Edward. I kept it from everyone.

I couldn't allow anyone else to hurt.

Maybe that was my mistake. Keeping the pain to myself.

I cried harder as I thought about the little life I hadn't even known about. The life that never stood a chance.

"Bella," Edward whispered, wrapping his strong arms around my frame. I held onto him, burying my face into his shirt. He held me.

He didn't say a word. He didn't need too.

Eventually the crying stopped and I sat there, gasping for air. Edward just squeezed me tighter. He didn't know what was happening and I didn't know if I was ready to share. I would eventually tell him.

I needed to. But for right now, I didn't want to relive that.

How ironic.

All this time I wanted nothing more than to remember my life.

Now I only wanted to forget.

**_So these obviously this wasn't something easy to write. So your support and reviews were very encouraging. _**

**_Looks like I will be able to update tomorrow. So until then.  
-T_**


	38. Lost

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Summary: After Bella loses her memory in an accident, Edward must recount a journey with her that he has forgotten as well. Along the way they find the reasons they fell in love

Chapter 38: Lost

**May 27, 2012**

"Who is he?" I asked, feeling the anger boiling in my gut. It took all I had to stay in the car, watching her laugh and flip her hair back.

"Jacob Black. She met him four months ago. When the car broke down," Heidi answered, not bothering to look. She focused on reapplying her make-up. The man stood and walked away from the table and Bella began shifting through her purse.

It was a habit I knew she did before she left. She was leaving. I tried to calm the growing jealousy, but I couldn't.

"They're friends?" I asked, gritting my teeth and clenching and unclenching my fists.

"Hmph, sure. For now," she said with a heavy sigh, leaning back and shutting the visor. I glanced at her.

"Everyone knows men and women can't be friends, Eddie. Not unless they're both taken and even then it can be tricky. Jacob is single and vying for Bella's attention like a lost puppy," she said, tapping her fingers against the wheel. Her words made it harder to stay inside the car as I watched him return.

He walked up to her and she lifted herself from the seat to greet him.

"Why am I here?" I asked, because this was making me sick, but I was a logical man. I didn't jump to conclusions. I didn't make assumptions. I waited for explanations. Heidi was a snake and I was well aware of that fact. Whatever reason she brought me here, was wrong.

"I just thought you would want to know what—" her words cut off and I looked to see him pressing himself against my wife. His lips smashed against hers and her hands gently placed on his chest. I saw red. My hand went to the handle, but Heidi started the car and locked me in.

I turned to her.

"Heidi I swear to fucking God, if you don't let me out of this damn car I will I break the door," I growled. She placed her hand on my forearm and stared at me.

"Don't do anything stupid, Edward. I didn't bring you here to see that. I hadn't known that they were that far along in their relationship." Her eyes flicked back to the coffee shop. I attempted to turn to see what the fucker was doing now, but before I could her hand was on my face and turning me back to her.

"There's no reason for us to be here. Why don't I take you back home," she said and put the car in drive. I was livid. I was heartbroken. I was sad.

I couldn't bring myself to even spare a last glance into the coffee shop. I was done.

So many things ran through my mind at that moment and I couldn't comprehend what was happening. My life was officially unraveled and I had no idea what to do.

I'd never felt so lost.

_**So some knew where this was going. Heidi is awfully evil. Anyone agree?  
I guess we'll see what happens. Maybe another update today. If not there will be one tomorrow. **_

_**Share your thoughts, please.  
-T**_


	39. Survive

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Summary: After Bella loses her memory in an accident, Edward must recount a journey with her that he has forgotten as well. Along the way they find the reasons they fell in love

Chapter 37

**July 21, 2012**

The silence at the kitchen was suffocating. It swallowed us whole.

I couldn't bear speak. I didn't know how to break the spell that had fallen over us. I was so afraid that once I spoke what had happened, it would become impossibly real for me.

"Bella, you need to talk to me," Edward finally whispered. I looked down at the untouched cup of coffee in my hands. I stood and placed the white porcelain cup in the sink.

"There's nothing to say," I mumbled.

"Don't do this. Talk to me," he begged. I felt the sting behind my nose as the warm tears gushed over. I didn't turn to look at him.

"I'm fine. Just some things I need to work through," I explained, wiping the traitor tears and turning to give him the biggest smile I could muster. He stood from the table and walked over to me. He grabbed my waist and pulled me closer.

"I don't want to leave you like this," he said.

He needed to be at a meeting. He was still trying to catch up since I had been sick.

"I'm fine."

"What did you remember?" he asked, pulling just far enough away to stare into my eyes. Sometimes when I stared into his incredible stormy eyes, I felt like I could admit anything. His emotions played through them so clearly it was impossible for him to hide anything from me.

"I…I—" I choked over the words. I couldn't get them out.

"Don't keep me out, Bella. We won't survive if you do," Edward whispered, his eyes hardening before stepping away.

I didn't know what to say.

I walked away.

_**Oh, Bella, you need to share your feelings.  
Lots of unresolved issues between these two.**_

_**Couldn't update yesterday, but I should be able to post another chapter later today, so show some love.  
-T**_


	40. Enough

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Summary: After Bella loses her memory in an accident, Edward must recount a journey with her that he has forgotten as well. Along the way they find the reasons they fell in love

Chapter 40

**May 27, 2012**

She was kissing me.

She was all wrong. She was too tall. Too curvy.

Her lips didn't form around mine, they tried to reshape them. Her body didn't curve into mine, it pressed against. Her hands didn't rest at the nape of my neck, they grasped my arms.

Her hair was too styled, too perfected. It wasn't a natural silk.

She was wrong.

Her taste, her smell, her feel.

I didn't want this. I hadn't initiated it, but perhaps I had hesitated in stopping it.

But I couldn't help it. My mind was running partially on revenge. My mind was running on anger. My heart wasn't in the equation. It was trying to pull itself together.

She moaned against my mouth and the sound was wrong. It broke whatever spell I had fell under and I remembered my place and the snake of a woman who was on me.

I broke away, gasping for breath and felt her lips travel to my neck. Felt her fingers reach for the button of my shirt and I grasped her wrist.

I pushed her wrist away and she took a step back, a step away from me, and I took one back as well. Increasing the space.

She stared at me with her golden eyes.

"Really?" she said, raising an arched eyebrow. I looked away from her. I took a breath. I cleared my head.

"Leave."

"You're a better man than I pegged you for," she said, shaking her head and walking toward the door.

She left the room and I sank down on the couch.

Something was broken today. A barrier. A straw. A strength. A wall.

I was being forced to do the very thing I was fighting.

Bella may have gone behind my back, but I couldn't find it in me to do the same. Not really.

As sick as it was and as angry as it made me I was still fucking in love with her and it broke me.

I would always be in love with her, but now I wasn't sure she felt the same. I didn't know this new Bella. I didn't want her. I couldn't wait any longer for the old Bella to come back. So I had to do the one thing that was best for me.

Best for both of us.

I hated the idea. I hated the thought.

But I had pushed too long for something that wasn't working. I wanted something that would never come back. I hoped that love would push us through, because I loved her.

But love didn't work that way. Love could not save us.

Love was never enough.

_**So everyone was afraid Edward would have an affair. He did not. He's a good man. Plus he really hates Heidi.  
Also try to remember that Heidi kissed him, not the other way around. Kind of like what happened to another character in this story...**___

_**Share your thoughts. Another update tomorrow. **_

_**-T **_

_**Just a note. A lot of this story has been inspired by the album Hands All Over by Maroon Five. I feel like it has a lot of push and pull songs. So if you need some new music, check it out. **_


	41. Fight

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Summary: After Bella loses her memory in an accident, Edward must recount a journey with her that he has forgotten as well. Along the way they find the reasons they fell in love

Chapter 41

**July 23, 2012**

"What are you thinking about?" Edward asked, as we watched television in the living room.

He played with my hair as I lay on his lap, watching reruns of my favorite series.

We had both managed to let my episode slip. We would have to talk about it, but for now we were content to sit together.

"I don't know. Thinking that this show is completely too emotional," I mumbled, watching as the patients struck with a pole through their guts argued over who should live. This episode managed to strike a chord every time.

"This show is completely fake," he chuckled, but he understood. He could feel the damp spot my tears had created on his pant leg.

"Would you have been angry? If I let the other person live?" I asked, turning on my back and watching his face. He gave me a small smile.

"I'd rather not think about that, Bella," he whispered.

"But would you have? I know it's selfish, but I would be angry. I would be really angry."

"Angry at yourself or angry if the situation was reverse?" he asked, petting my hair.

"Angry if the situation was reverse. Angry if you hadn't fought," I whispered. He didn't answer. He just stared at the television for a moment.

"Sometimes…love isn't enough," he quoted.

"If your willing to fight for it, it can be," I whispered, turning to catch the rest of the episode.

_**Grey's Anatomy episode: Into You Like A Train. A subway crash sends two strangers into the ER. A subway pole is lodged into their midsections, connecting these virtual strangers in a horrific way. One is a man with a family and the other a younger girl who is engaged. The staff realizes they will only be able to save one of them. They decide to save the man, because he has a greater chance of surviving. The woman dies. At the end of the episode, a surgeon talks to the woman's fiancé and passes on a message. She told the doctor to tell her fiancé "If love were enough she'd still be here right now." _

_**Share your thoughts. Any Grey Fanatics out there?**_

_**So here's a deal. Because this chapter is short, I can post another later today. Be warned that chapter is a bit of a cliffy. Or I can save you the pain and post both tomorrow. Your choice. Let me know.  
-T**_


	42. Cleaning

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Summary: After Bella loses her memory in an accident, Edward must recount a journey with her that he has forgotten as well. Along the way they find the reasons they fell in love

Chapter 42

**July 27, 2012**

Something about cleaning always calmed my mind. It was exactly the kind of chore that helped me get back into routine. After a week of awkward silences and tense moments, I finally felt like things were returning to normal.

Or at least the normal I had grown used to.

I knew that I still had to share with Edward. I had to let him know, because I wanted to be different. I wanted to prove that I wouldn't make the same mistakes twice. I just didn't know how to share. I didn't know how to sit down and relive it.

I had decided I just needed to get it out. I would explain tonight. I would explain everything I was remembering.

I was afraid. I feared loosing him and I feared his anger, but I trusted in us. I knew what I had to share would probably hurt, but maybe we could heal. We could move on.

Cleaning was a wonderful distraction until Edward arrived later this evening.

I passed the vacuum over the carpet in the hall, sighing when I passed Edward's ajar office door. I usually stayed away from his office. It was his private room. I respected that.

God knows he respected my privacy.

But I could tell it needed to be vacuumed. Which was odd since Edward was the neat freak.

I could do this for him though. He probably hadn't had the time of late.

I pushed the door open and began to vacuum. I had only been in here once before. He kept his instruments here as well as different sound equipment. It was much too technological for me to understand.

I tried to be careful. I really did. I didn't want to mess up anything he had in here, but as I passed his desk, I hit it with a little too much force knocking over a glass of water.

Why the hell did he have a glass water on his desk?

"Shit shit shit," I sighed, running over and trying to wipe the mess with tissues, before it reached his computer. The water ran down the side, dripping into a partially open drawer.

I groaned in frustration. What the fuck? I should have just left his office alone.

I opened the drawer. A manila envelope had been the victim of the water. Luckily it didn't look like it had suffered too badly. I pulled it out, shaking it slightly and trying to wipe the damp spot.

I opened the flap and pulled out the paperwork within it. I only wanted to make sure it didn't get wet. That was it.

But something in the fine print caught my attention.

I knew I should have left the office alone.

_**Uh oh, wonder what it was...  
I just want to thank everyone all the readers and reviewers. Seriously like you make my day every time I open my email.  
Another update later today. **_

_**-T**_


	43. Runaway

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Summary: After Bella loses her memory in an accident, Edward must recount a journey with her that he has forgotten as well. Along the way they find the reasons they fell in love

Chapter 43

**June 5, 2013**

"You want a divorce?!" she yelled, standing from the table, her cheeks red in anger. I was trying to be rational, trying to avoid a scene, but it wasn't her intention.

"Bella, please, let's just—"

"No. Don't you dare try to calm me damn down Edward Cullen!" she said, backing away from the table.

"How could you do this to me?! We'd be the talk of the town. I—"

"Bella listen to yourself! You don't love me anymore! I can see it in everything you do! And this woman! This, I don't even know her!" I yelled, rising with her. I was angry. I was hurt.

This was possibly one of the hardest things I had ever had to do, but it had to be done. Because this wasn't us. This wasn't love. This wasn't happiness. And I wanted no part.

"Fuck you, Edward!" she yelled, grabbing her bag and walking out of the kitchen.

"Bella, you can't ignore the things you don't want to hear!" I shouted following after her.

"Yes, yes I will because I do love you. I do love you, Edward. And I can't believe you would want to do this to us," she said, searching her bag for her keys.

"Bella," I said, grabbing her arm and turning her around. Her eyes flashed to mine.

"Bella you're more upset about what this divorce will do to your reputation rather than your heart," I said. Her eyes widened.

"Bastard!" she whispered and pulled her arm out of my hand. She didn't understand. She didn't know how hard this was. She didn't know how it cut me to the core. I watched the woman I loved transform into someone she wasn't. Into a stranger.

"I know about Jacob," I breathed. Her breaths grew heavy.

"Edward, it's not like that," she whispered, stepping closer. I took one step back. I didn't want her comfort.

"Don't make excuses," I snapped.

"You're wrong. You're wrong about him. You're wrong about me and you're wrong about this damn divorce," she yelled turning and walking out the door.

I followed again.

"Bella!" I yelled, stepping onto the porch and watching her pull the car out the drive. She shook her head and drove off.

Damn it! I turned and punched the wall in frustration. The sting of the brick stung my knuckles and I knew they would bleed. I didn't give a damn.

I stood in that house. An hour. Two. I wondered what I should do. I wondered how long she was going to avoid this. I wondered where the hell she was.

Until the call came. The call that froze my heart.

_**So we know what the call was, right? **_

_**Share your thoughts!**_

_**-T**_


	44. Deja Vu

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Summary: After Bella loses her memory in an accident, Edward must recount a journey with her that he has forgotten as well. Along the way they find the reasons they fell in love

Chapter 44

**July 27, 2012**

I should not have been this clam. I should not have been this rational.

I was well aware that deep down, I probably wasn't.

I was feeling so much I couldn't even pin point my emotions. Was I angry? Was I sad? Upset? Hurt? Betrayed?

I didn't know what to settle on.

I stared at the paperwork in front of me. Reading it over and over again. I knew what it was. I knew what it meant.

Was he pretending the whole time? Was he waiting for me to regain my memories to hit me with this once more?

The front door opened. I didn't call out to him. He would find me.

"Bella!" he called. He walked into the kitchen, already loosening his tie. His happy expression morphed into one of concern. "Are you alright? Why are you crying?"

I wiped my cheeks. I hadn't known that I was. He rushed over; pulling away my chair and trying to get me too look at him. I couldn't though.

"Was it all a lie?" I asked. He looked confused.

"What was a lie?"

"Us. Were we a lie?" I asked. He stood up and pulled a chair, sitting directly in front of me.

"What are you talking about?"

"Why didn't you tell me? Why did you play along?" I asked, standing quickly and throwing the stapled paperwork at him. He fumbled for a moment, reaching for the papers and trying to make sense of them. When he recognized the papers his face fell.

I walked away from him. He followed.

"Bella," he yelled, grabbing my arm.

"_Bella you're more upset about what this divorce will do to your reputation rather than your heart."_

What did he just say? Did he… what?

"Let's talk," he said, his voice even and controlled, snapping me out my haze.

"About what? How you lied to me. Edward, you made me believe we we're happy!"

"We are happy!"

"Because I don't remember anything!" I shouted in frustration, pulling my arm away and turning away from him. I couldn't look at him. I didn't even want to be near him right now.

"_I know about Jacob," he said, his voice barely audible._

I turned to stare at him. I know he hadn't said anything, but I could clearly hear the words in my head.

"What?" I whispered. He took a step away.

"Let's talk, please?" he asked. I just stared at him.

"_Bella, you can't ignore the things you don't want to hear!"_

"Edward… who told you about Jacob?" I asked, feeling like I had just been punched in the stomach. I was taken back to that morning. The morning he sat me down and told me he wanted a divorce. The idea had blindsided me.

It felt exactly like it did now.

"You remembered Jacob?" he asked, his voice full of hurt and his eyes full of betrayal. He didn't understand. I wasn't trying to cover Jacob up. I just wanted to know if he had known this entire time. Had he waited for me to come clean?

Oh the tangled webs we weaved…

"_You're wrong. You're wrong about him. You're wrong about me and you're wrong about this damn divorce."_

"I…"

"You did it again. You managed to look like the victim. But you aren't. You never were," he shouted, turning on his heel and walking back to the kitchen.

"I wasn't having an affair!" I yelled, following him. I knew what he was thinking. I knew why he wanted this separation. I couldn't blame him, could I? My past self had made such a mess of things.

"Oh well it didn't look like that to me!"

"What—Who… Heidi," I whispered.

I remembered watching her pretentious little Audi pulling away from the coffee shop. He had the seen the kiss. He had watched me kiss another man and I had no idea.

My stomach rolled and I felt sick with guilt.

I turned back around. Anger heating my skin and making my hands shake. I ran to the door.

"Are you fucking serious right now? You're leaving? Again?" he shouted, following me.

It was almost comical. We were running in circles, chasing the other. Push and pull.

"No. I'm not leaving. I just… I need…," I mumbled, pulling the car keys from the hook by the door and stepping out. I couldn't explain what I needed.

"Where do you think you're going?" he asked, coming out onto the porch. I didn't answer. I didn't know how to. I simply made my way to the car and opened it.

"Don't keep running away, Bella," he said, standing at the end of the stairs. I made eye contact with him.

There was so much we had to share. There was so much we had to say.

I looked away and got into the car.

I didn't spare a last glance as I pulled out of our drive way.

_**Wait!  
Before you all start hating on Bella, which I know we all want to do. I ask that you put a little faith in her. I ask that you put faith in me. The next chapter is seriously one of my favorites!**_

_**So…until I update again… share your thoughts. I might update today…  
-T**_


	45. Alimony

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Summary: After Bella loses her memory in an accident, Edward must recount a journey with her that he has forgotten as well. Along the way they find the reasons they fell in love

Chapter 45: Alimony

**July 27, 2012**

I parked harshly and slammed the door as I stepped out the vehicle. Figures her house would have a stupid picket fence around it too.

I had remembered more and more as I drove to her house. It was funny. For the first time I felt like myself. I had memories I had been dying to remember. I had memories that made me feel like I knew who I was. But I had gone through an experience that helped me remember who I should be.

She was sitting on her porch, reading. Her head snapped up at the sound of my door and she placed the book down.

"Oh, what a surprise," she said, stepping off her porch. I opened her stupid fence and met her halfway. She smiled, her shiny red lips stretching over white teeth.

"You're a bitch. You set him up!" I shouted. She blinked in surprise, the smile falling off her pretty face. She knew exactly why I was here. I could see it in the way her honey hazel eyes hardened.

"I was only doing him a favor."

"Yeah? By breaking his heart? You made it seem like I was cheating on him!"

"Well, Bella, we were both there. We both saw the kiss."

"You knew the truth. Jake _kissed_ me. I slapped him. I put him in his place!"

"It didn't look that way to Edward," she said, smirking and placing a hand on her hip. My mouth fell open. She was really something else and I couldn't believe I had ever been her friend.

"You are a despicable human being. You're nothing but a pathetic slut. You have nothing better to do, but make sure people are as miserable as you. You are a sad person and I actually feel sorry for you," I said.

I was so convinced that I needed this. I needed to confront her and tell her she couldn't plot against me. I was wrong; I didn't need to confront her. I just needed to move past her.

And I was going to.

She was just a sorry ass part of my past.

I turned to walk away, but of course the bitch had to open her mouth.

"It's shame, Bella. I doubt Jacob is as good a kisser as Edward," she said, her voice full of smug satisfaction.

I felt my head twitch as I turned back to her. What the hell did she just say?

"What?" I spat, stepping closer.

"Funny what people will do when vulnerable, isn't it?" She smiled, fluttering her eyelashes.

I pulled my arm back and punched her. She shrieked, stumbling back and falling on her ass. Her hands went to her nose. I was sure it was hurting like a bitch, because my hand sure was.

"My nose!" she shouted, her hands full of blood.

"Don't worry. I'm sure you can get another nose job from the alimony you'll surely be getting. After all, your husband_ is_ sleeping with your sister," I said. Her eyes widened.

"That is, if he doesn't divorce your slutty ass first," I spat.

I turned around and walked back to my car.

Her marriage might be past saving, but mine surely wasn't.

_**Can we get a little cheer for Bella? I know everyone was really angry and maybe this confrontation could have waited, but Bella clearly wasn't thinking straight.  
Yes, Heidi is/was married. How does Bella know her husband is cheating? Well she was friends with her for a while. I'm sure she picked it out. It's a small detail, one she remembered. **_

_**Seriously guys, thanks a ton for the reviews. They make my day. Share your thoughts.  
-T**_


	46. Unbelievable

Paperwork

Summary: After Bella loses her memory in an accident, Edward must recount a journey with her that he has forgotten as well. Along the way they find the reasons they fell in love

Chapter 46

**June 27, 2012**

I pulled into my driveway, surprised to find Edward sitting on the stairs. His head snapped up as soon as I shut off the car. He was on his feet and opening the door before I could take the key out of the ignition.

He pulled me out and wrapped his arms around me.

"You do realize the last time you pulled out of here in an angry fit, I almost lost you," he whispered in my hair. I held him tightly, not knowing when or if he might let me do it again. I took in his scent and his strong form.

"I was going to come back that day," I told him, my voice muffled by his chest. He pulled away. I sighed. I guess I needed to talk. "I was headed to Jake's house."

He unwrapped himself from around me and took a step back. I grabbed his shirt, refusing to let him leave. I had more to say and I wouldn't let him walk away.

I was done with this bullshit.

"I was headed to tell him that I wanted nothing more to do with him. I didn't want him in my life anymore. I wanted to come back and try to save us. I knew he needed to be out the picture. I didn't make it to his house," I said, remembering the tears fogging my vision. Trying to swerve out the road and hitting a tree instead. Everything was black from there.

Edward was silent. So I continued.

"I wasn't having an affair. I promise you that. We we're friends. I knew he had feelings for me, but I didn't return them. That day at the coffee shop. It was the first time he ever kissed me. And the last. I slapped him and I walked away. Obviously, Heidi didn't let you see that part," I explained, watching as the puzzle pieces clicked behind his eyes.

He stared at me, searching for the truth. He grabbed my wrist, pulling my hand off his shirt and holding it between both of his.

He noticed the broken skin on my knuckles.

"What happened?" he asked his voice throaty and raw.

"I punched Heidi in the face."

He stared at me. Eyes wide.

Then he started laughing. Belly deep laughs that shook his entire frame. I cracked a smile.

"You're kind of unbelievable."

"You better believe it," I said, smiling.

The silence fell over us once more, crackling with unspoken words.

"Do you…wanna get a coffee?" I asked, hopeful. He met my eyes, the corners of his crinkling with a soft smile.

"Yeah. I could go for coffee."

_**So how does it make you feel knowing Bella wanted to try and fix her marriage? Even before the memory loss?  
Share your thoughts, I love reading them. :)**_

_**-T**_


	47. Beginning

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Summary: After Bella loses her memory in an accident, Edward must recount a journey with her that he has forgotten as well. Along the way they find the reasons they fell in love

Chapter 47: Beginning

**August 10, 2012**

When I was younger, I remembered watching my grandmother and grandfather renew their vows. They we're 60 and 63 respectively and they renewed their vows every ten years.

They made me believe love was so easy. They made me believe that as long as you loved someone, marriage was a breeze.

But now, looking back, I realized how hard they must have worked.

How much time and effort they put into their marriage. I'm sure they made their mistakes.

I'm sure there were times when they wanted nothing more than to end it. I'm sure there were times they absolutely hated each other.

They pushed through and somehow managed to remind themselves why they loved each other.

Every ten years.

So knowing that, I gave this a chance. I gave us a chance.

We had tainted our vows with secrets and betrayals, but they weren't ruined. Battered and bruised, but not broken.

That gave me hope.

We shared a lot.

I told him everything and in return he told me what he should have shared in the beginning.

I realized somewhere in the middle of our overdue conversation, that I had thought of myself as two different people for a very long simply because I could not remember my actions, did not excuse me from them. _I_ had made the mistakes and I had to take responsibility.

Which I did.

We wanted to fix this. And we would. It would take work and forgiveness, but it was something we wanted. Something we wanted to push toward.

It already felt like we were making progress and so three weeks later found us in the backyard.

"Ready to do this?" he asked, holding a match.

"Yup. So ready," I said, taking his hand within mine. He squeezed it once, lit the match and threw it on the divorce papers. I watched as the flames quickly transferred from the small stick to the black and white paperwork.

This was symbolic. We we're ready to let go of past mistakes, of past heart break. We wanted to move forward and start anew.

The flames rapidly licked the pages that would have been our end. It curled and charred and soon it was nothing but ashes.

I smiled. It was funny, how life worked out.

The very paperwork that had meant our end was really just our beginning.

"_And she already knows how it goes and where she stands, I'll stay."  
-Ed Sheeran_

_**The End**__**  
**_

* * *

_**So yeah this is it. They are completely ready to move forward. People say that Edward forgives too easily, but I don't think that's a fault. Forgiveness is not about the other person. Forgiveness is for yourself. Forgiving someone takes a lot of strength and you don't do it for the other person. You have to do it for you otherwise you allow someone else to keep hurting you. **_

_**Real quick: Does Bella remember everything?  
Answer: No, she does not, but she remembers a lot. She remembers enough of her old life to feel like herself. Will she get her all her memories back? I don't know, really. She hasn't told me. But she doesn't feel like she needs them. **_

_**I really want to thank everyone who read and reviewed and just kept encouraging me to keep writing. It was truly awesome knowing that people we're anxious for the next update. I might post an epilogue later on, but I still haven't tried writing one, so we'll see. Again thanks so much and I hope you all enjoyed it.**_

_**I might post another drabble like story. If anyone is interested in reading it. Until then, let me know your final thoughts. Thanks for staying along for the journey. **_

_**-Twilightholic-Tanya **_

_**Ps. This story was based of Ed Sheeran's "She" off his Songs I Wrote With Amy. I am a HUGE fan of Ed Sheeran so I highly encourage you guys to check him out. I will be seeing him in concert in about...two weeks. So excited. :)**_


	48. Results

Paperwork

Summary: After Bella loses her memory in an accident, Edward must recount a journey with her that he has forgotten as well. Along the way they find the reasons they fell in love

_**Epilogue  
**_Chapter 48: Results

**December 19, 2013**

Two minutes and fifty-nine seconds left to go. I bite my nail and paced the bathroom. My stomach was in knots as I wondered if these would be the last three minutes of being a singular person.

In three minutes time I could…would be considered two people. The thought seemed so foreign and strange.

I could barely breathe.

I didn't even know how to feel about it. I wanted to be happy. I wanted to be ecstatic and hopeful but I couldn't help but feel a bit of fear.

Memories seemed to flood my mind. I remembered the little life I had carried without knowing and had ultimately lost. The experience had made me very hesitant about pregnancy.

After telling Edward, we had made an appointment to make sure everything was okay. The doctors had informed us that I was healthy and they did not see anything that would prevent a future pregnancy. Even so, Edward had agreed to wait a few more years before trying to start a family.

That being said…

We had not been trying.

We had been careful, but things happened.

I glanced at my watch.

Two minutes and fifteen seconds…

Time seemed to drag on, the second hand moving slower and slower with each tick.

"Bella, are you in here?" Edward asked irritation in his voice. I stepped out the washroom, closing the door behind me.

"Is there something you needed?" I asked, hoping to get him out the room as quickly as possible. I didn't want to tell him until I was sure of the result. Edward would be such a great father and even though he had agreed to wait, I knew he was dying to start a family. I didn't want to get his hopes up if the results were negative.

"This is the second time that beast has chewed up my sheet music," Edward growled, holding a small white dog in one hand and a folder covered in teeth marks. I laughed as the puppy in his hands yawned and squirmed.

I reached for her and wrapped her in my arms. We had invested in a Teddy Bear puppy a few months back. Her small furry face automatically buried into my neck.

"She's just being playful. Maybe if her daddy spent some time with her," I said, nuzzling her head. He rolled his pale green eyes and smirked.

"Maybe if her mother would actually take some time and train her, we wouldn't have these problems," he muttered, walking past me.

I was so wrapped up in my puppy; I hadn't paid attention to where he was headed.

"Bella!" his startled voice came from the bathroom. My stomach dropped.

"Oh boy. Go play," I told her and set her down on the floor.

She trotted out the room, bouncing with each step. I slowly made my way into the washroom. Edward was standing above the counter, staring at the pregnancy test that still had a minute and thirty seconds left.

"What's this?" he asked, his eyes leaving the stick and shooting to mine.

"Well, Edward I think you know…" I mumbled, bringing my thumb to my mouth and biting my nail.

"I know what it is…I just—are you—is this…" he seemed at a loss for words. I walked out the room and sat on the bed. He followed me.

"I've just been feeling strange the past few days and then I noticed I was late…I just—I wanted to rule it out as a possibility," I explained. He kneeled in front of me, placing his hands on my thighs.

"What if it's not ruled out?"

"I don't know. I—I'm not sure I'm ready for this, Edward. What if I lose it again?" I said, expressing the fears I had been hiding. Tears sprung to my eyes and he grasped my face in his hands, wiping the shedding tears with his thumb.

"Oh, sweetheart, you can't think like that. The earlier we know the better prepared we can be? Right?" he said. I knew he was trying to comfort me, but I could see the spark of joy that lay beneath his lake like eyes.

"What if we're parents, Edward?" I whispered, voice trembling.

"Does it really scare you that much?" he asked, trying to fight back his own hope for the possibilities. I took his hands in mine and slowly shook my head.

"Not with you. Even if I suck…you'll be a great dad," I whispered, managing my own small smile. His face lit in joy as he placed his lips in mine, consuming me in his joy. I giggled as I wrapped my arms around his neck. He pulled away before I could get my fill.

"How much longer?" he asked. I looked at my watch.

"Now," I said, swallowing hard.

In a few short moments, I would know. Edward stood and pulled me up. He was practically shaking in excitement.

Just then, our little trouble maker of a dog came bounding into the room, headed straight for the bathroom.

"Damn dog," Edward muttered, following after her. I was a step behind. I watched as the ball of fur slammed into the bathroom counter, shaking it and making my test fall to the ground. In a split second she had it in her mouth and was running out the room.

"Lily!" I shouted, running after her.

Edward was faster and was able to move past me and follow the dog down the stairs. She ran into the living room, making a circle around the room and heading up the stairs. I tried to catch her, but she squirmed out my arms and ran into the guest bedroom, where she effectively hid underneath the bed.

"Lily, get back here right now!" I growled, trying to reach her. I heard the sound of plastic cracking.

"Don't chew that you stupid dog," Edward panted, coming into the room and ducking on the other side of the bed. He managed to just tap her enough with his long fingers. She scuttled over to my side and I wrapped my arm around her, bringing her out from under the bed.

Unfortunately she had dropped the test.

"Stupid dog," I muttered as Edward stood up, holding the test in his hands. I placed the dog down, tapping her backside. She barked and trotted away.

"What does it say?" I asked, nervous.

"I can't…"

He handed me the test. The screen that would have shown me the results was cracked, blurring the answer. I sighed in frustration.

::*::

**December 24, 2013**

"Okay, done," She said, walking into the bedroom with the capped pregnancy test in her hands. I rubbed my hands nervously on the bed.

After Lily had destroyed the first one, she told me that we should give it a few more days before trying another one. She had only been a few days late at the time. Today she would officially be a week late.

"Are you nervous?" I asked as she sat down next to me, her floral perfume wafting in the air. In about an hour we would have to be at my parent's home for their annual holiday party.

"I feel like this will be the last three minutes of normalcy," she said. She stared down at the white stick, placing her hand over the screen where the results would show.

"We could be parents," I said, feeling my voice shake slightly. She stared at me.

"I thought you wanted this?" she asked, a bit of fear tinged in her voice.

"I did. I do. I just— what if it's a no?" I asked. I had understood Bella's hesitancy in wanting to try. But I was afraid that the experience she had gone through would scare her from ever wanting kids again.

When she had told me about her miscarriage I had been very angry. I was angry that she had kept something so serious from me. I was angry that I had let her go through such a terrifying experience all alone. I was angry at myself more than anything.

I had also felt an extreme amount of sadness. It was the biggest obstacle to get by, but we did.

Since the accident and the events that transpired after, we had grown immensely as a couple. We had learned from our mistakes. Our communication had improved, but I couldn't help but keep some feelings to myself.

I wanted to start a family, but I didn't want to push her into something she wasn't ready for. This pregnancy may have been an accident, but it could be the only chance to show her everything would be okay.

She took my hands in her and squeezed tightly, drawing my attention to her.

"We could…we could try again," she said, smiling softly. I felt the joy swim into my throat.

"Seriously?" I asked, quirking an eyebrow, wanting to hide some of the joy I felt. She smiled at my failed attempt.

"Seriously. I think I'm ready. I'm actually…excited about this," she said, leaning to into my side. I kissed her temple.

"Time?" I asked eager to know the results of our future.

"Ten seconds," she answered, feeling my throat close up.

I watched the second hand on my watch as it neared the conclusion.

Five. Four. Three. Two.

"Edward," she said her voice tight. I looked up to meet her eyes. They were filled with tears and I felt my stomach tighten. I had been so sure it would be positive, hoping for it even, that I hadn't expected it could be a negative.

I tried to sum up my courage, to let her know that we would have plenty of opportunities, but she spoke first.

"You're going to be a daddy," she whispered.

The last thing I heard were her giggles as I attacked her lips with mine.

* * *

_**An epilogue came to mind. This is officially the last chapter of Paperwork. **_

_**Enjoy.**_


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